Michelle Wegner

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Some kids are intellectual.  Some kids retain every bit of information that comes their way.  Maddie, my oldest daughter had her ABC's down by 18 months old, as well as all her colors and a full vocabulary.  Whitney was a whiz with numbers, colors, and also had a huge vocabulary.  With both older girls, I hardly had to motivate them to learn anything...still don't.  I didn't try to potty train them, they did it themselves by 2 1/2.

God gave me Isabelle to realize I am not "Super-Mom".  She never crawled, never slept through the night, didn't potty train until 3 1/2, has no interest in counting, ABC's or learning her name.  She is 100% visual learner.  She also has a huge vocabulary, extraordinary people skills, incredible imagination, and serious creativity when it comes to coloring and outfit designs. 

So, at the end of Belle's preschool last year, I had a conference with Mrs. Derbin.  She said with tears in her eyes, "I love Isabelle.  She is one of the most affectionate kids I have ever known.  I can't wait to get to school every day to see what she is wearing."  On top of that, she said, "Belle has to learn her name by the time she gets in the 4/5 class.  They don't take much time to work on printing names in that class."

Since that meeting, it has been my driving force.  TEACH ISABELLE TO WRITE HER NAME.  In everything we have done this summer, I tried to get her to write her name.  We have been working on I-S-A-B-EL-L-E since last year, but realized this was way too much for her brain and hand to cooperate with.  As the summer has come to a close and the 4/5 class is about to begin, I have gotten sneakier.  I bought finger paint, chalk, let her color on the windows, walls, etc. (Only designated spots).

Finally, today of all days, it paid off.  The name is mastered.  If you're not a Mom or Dad or teacher, you might not understand how I can get teary over B-e-l-l-e.  5 simple letters.

Today was a great day.

What My Kids Have Taught Me

 

I've been a Mommy for 10 years.  Long enough to know

• My girls can easily divide and conquer me and their Dad if we let them. 
• Every day is a new challenge
• I will never cook like my Mom
• I could never put enough helmets, knee pads, elbow pads or safety glasses on my kids to keep them from being hurt
• My kids are awesome, but other people's kids are awesome too
• There are no easy answers
• It's never too early to teach them about character and integrity
• I often do the wrong thing.  Saying sorry to my kids is invaluable
• There are other Mom's and Dad's that are way smarter than me.  I try to learn all I can from great parents
• My parents did so many things right.  I hope I do too.

When Schools Go Green Update

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you help me figure out what is important and what I should keep?  I went to college and I can't.

100 pieces of paper after 5 days of school.  The girls are in 3rd and 4th grade.  How much money does it cost to print off 100 pieces of paper?  How many weeks of school are there?  Figure 100 pieces of paper times the weeks of school and I'm sure that's a small fortune, and that is for two children.  Just two.  There is something terribly wrong here.

Not A Normal Life

We put on a lot of miles today and got a lot done.  We pulled more weeds at the ball field in Englewood for Pastor Bone and his little league team.  Read the amazing story of how we got the same dirt as the Chicago White Sox on Rob's blog.  It is on days like this that I shake my head in wonder at God.  Two phone calls, and these boys from one of the worst neighborhoods in America will be playing on the best dirt in America.  God is awesome.

As I was pulling weeds and getting blisters from raking mud, I could not help but pray for those boys.  Pastor Glenn and Carla don't look at themselves as coaches to 30 9-11 year old boys.  They see themselves as the only hope these boys have to stay out of the gang/drug scene which leads 99% of the time to jail or death.  That was my motivation to push through the heat and the blisters.

As we were cleaning up the field, the neighborhood drug dealers stood on their corner watching us.  I was within hearing distance to them, and I heard one say to the other with a smile "They are cleaning up this field!  Can you believe that?"  He couldn't believe it.  One of them let us use his hose to rinse the kids off after they waded in the mud all day.  An old man walked up and down the road shaking his head and talking to a few of the adult leaders.  I  asked one of them what he said, and she said the man told her that when he was a young man, he had a vision for saving the lives of the boys in the neighborhood just like Pastor Bone.  He had a team and they played on the very field we were working on.  He said his heart has been broken to see the field destroyed by lack of care.  He was so excited to see us fixing it up for the neighborhood.

As we were driving in the car today, I said to my girls, "you realize you do not have a normal life."  They nodded their heads and smiled.  Instead of the usual "What I did this Summer" essays, Maddie and Whitney's will read something like this:

   

"This summer I went to middle school camp and helped kids pick up trash.  All of the kids loved Jesus, and loved me.  Then I went to the worst neighborhood in Chicago where the drug dealers like to hang out.  Right across from their watchful eyes I pulled weeds and swept a puddle the size of a lake away so inner-city boys will not join gangs and end up in jail or dead."

Not a normal life. 

Tomorrow we hit the American Girl Cafe for a celebration dinner.  My girls deserve it.  They have been amazing troopers this summer.

Special

Whitney found a four leaf clover at camp.  I could not believe it.  She told me she was going out to look for one and I said something very mother-like such as "ok, have fun."  knowing it would keep her busy for a few minutes, but also knowing there was no way on earth she would ever find one.  Five minutes later she came back with a four-leaf clover.  I did not think they actually existed...until Whitney found one.

Looking at this picture, I can not help but think that the four leaf clover is so symbolic of my Whitney.  She is so special, so unique. It is hard to find another like her.

This was the first year at camp that all 3 girls actually had the attention span to sit through all of the morning worship session without having to leave.  I used to stick it out with them till they were too fidgety or noisy and then we would leave.  I was so excited to be able to sit through the entire sessions with them.  One of the goals all of the speakers gave the campers was to share Jesus with 2 of their friends when they got home.  They challenged them to imagine the impact of Jesus on their friends' lives.  Both Maddie and Whitney wrote down 2 friends names right away. 

We got home from camp Saturday.  The phone was ringing when I walked in the door.  It was Whitney's friend...one of the two that Whitney had written down.

Whitney played at her house all day.  Whitney invited the friend to church.  While we were in the car, Whitney said, "Mom!  She has been reading the Bible we gave her, and today I asked her if she wanted to pray to Jesus and give her life to him, and she said YES!  We prayed right there in her room!"

I am so proud of Whitney.  The uniqueness God has blessed her with is drawing so many to Jesus already, and she is only 8 years old.  I am amazed.

Belle's First Written Word

I have been teaching Isabelle to write her name the past few weeks.  She has had absolutely no interest in numbers or letters at all, so this sudden interest has been great.

You can see the various letters of her name on the top.

On the bottom is her first written word....M-O-M.  Rob taught her that last night, and she remembered it till this morning.

sniff, sniff....

She also told me this week that she would rather I be her Mommy than Gazelle from Enchanted.  It's been a great week for this Mommy.

Marked Forever

By now you've heard about Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus' blunder.  Apparently, she had no idea that 8 year old girls would be offended and deeply saddened by her publishing an improper photo of herself in Vanity Fair magazine. 

Whitney is mad.  Furious.  When talking to her about it after school today, she said, "but she was the only one I trusted...pop stars, I mean." 

I told her what Miley said about being embarrassed and ashamed. 

Whitney's words exactly:  "well that will still leave a mark on her life, won't it Mom."

Wow.  Big people....(that means anyone over 8)  be careful how you live your life.  Use wisdom....even when everyone around you is telling you something is ok, but you know deep down inside it is wrong, RUN THE OTHER WAY! 

No matter who you are, there is someone looking up to you.  Don't let your life be "marked forever" by one wrong decision.

Cardinal Rules of Parenting.

The big girls had their dance recital this weekend.  This has meant hours and hours of practice for them.  On Saturday, instead of driving there and back a hundred times, Isabelle and I just decided to stick it out at the Century Center and do all the wild and crazy stuff there is to do in downtown South Bend.   When I was all out of ideas, we went back to check on the girls.   There were some seriously grumpy parents waiting and waiting while their girls took their turn rehearsing.  Belle was in her glory, marching around the theater making friends with all of them.  One couple in particular was exceedingly grumpy, and said something mean to her.  I was shocked.  They didn't think I was watching, but I was, and the dad locked eyes with me.  I think he about fell through the floor because he was "caught".  I can't imagine why or how two grown adults could be mean to a 4 year old bubbly, happy, cheerful, friendly girl.  Perhaps they thought she should sit down and knit a sweater while we waited.

This got me to thinking about my parenting.  Sure, I could have kept Belle right by my side, but I had my eye on her every second she was doing her "marching".  She wasn't yelling, screaming, hurting anyone else or herself.  I do things differently than a lot of parents, and maybe someday some of it will get me in trouble...I'm not sure.  Here are some of the cardinal rules of parenting that I break on a semi-regular basis, and why I do.

• I let my girls go barefooted outside in the summer.  Toes need to feel grass and squish mud.
• I let them ride their bikes with no helmet.  This one has gotten me in trouble more than any other rule....talk about death glares from parents...sheesh
• Occasionally I allow them to leave the restroom without washing their hands.  Builds up a great immune system
• I let them eat something that has fallen on the ground after the 5 second rule...same reason as above, PLUS, I hate wasting money on dropped food.
• I let the girls go to school in the most fantastic mismatched clothes you have ever seen.  They consider themselves colorful and exciting.  So do I.

I don't know why I enjoy breaking these rules on a semi-regular basis.  It's the rebel in me I guess.  Not too fitting for a mother of three, plus a pastor's wife!

Dancing with MY stars

        Maddie and Whitney stole the show this weekend in their performance of Alice in Wonderland.  I am so proud of them for all the hard work they put into this show.  They were awesome and spectacular, and I am so proud of them I can hardly stand it. 

Parent Coach

My good friend  Dr.Ron Craker has been working with children for years and years.  He's a child psychologist that we met through an early intervention program called First Steps when Isabelle was struggling with various health issues the first 3 years of her life.  We've got a pretty solid family.  I'd like to think we've got it all together.  But...when unseen bumps in the road came along, we found ourselves a bit under- prepared in how to handle a family crisis with small children.  When Belle was going through her problems and we would take her to various doctors, Maddie would often say stuff to me like, "Did they cut her back open today?" or "I thought they were going to take her legs off."  Amazing how kids can interpret second hand discussions.  We really needed Ron's help and guidance at that time.

Ron got us through and over that period through offering his tremendous insights and wisdom to us and our kids.  After Isabelle turned 3, and was no longer able to receive services from First Steps, we were so glad to have first of all kept Ron as a good friend, and second of all, glad to know that he was expanding his focus and opening his own business to help even more families.  There have been several times since then that we have been "stuck" about something to do with our kids, and Ron has offered his advice and insights to get us "unstuck".

Check out Ron's blog.    Ron is a genius.  If you are a parent, or know a parent, you should check out his site often.

If you are a Mom, Ron and fellow Life-Coach Beth Madigan have put together a quick tool to help them evaluate how to better help moms.  It took me less than two minutes to take.  If you've got two minutes and you're a mom, take the survey!

Isabelle, Enchanted

If you have seen the movie Enchanted,  you have seen the perfect portrayal of our youngest daughter Isabelle.  Even before the movie, Isabelle was Jazelle.  She is a cartoon princess in a real life world.  She truly imagines herself a princess.  When someone asks her what she will be when she grows up, she looks at them as if they were ignorant, and says, "A Queen.  "

She has seen the movie Enchanted 3 times.  All week long, she has been lining up her animals in a row and singing them "The Happy Working Song."  If you haven't seen the movie, watch the video below.  When Jazelle sings the song, rats, mice, cockroaches, and bugs come to help her clean. Today when I was in the shower, Belle lined all of her animals up on the toilet and bathroom floor and said, "OK Mom, now sing the Happy Working song!"

I think Isabelle's magic songs have worked.  Today, I looked out my window and there was an opossum in my yard.  In the 3 1/2 years we have lived here, I have never seen one.  A few hours later, I was telling the girls about the opossum in the yard, and lo and behold, There was a skunk!  I have opossum poop on our back porch to prove it if you don't believe me. 

Belles songs and magic worked.  She is absolutely convinced of her Princess-hood now.  The rest of us are all doomed to lives of wicked step mothers, old hags and evil sisters.

Mommy Wars

Let the Mommy Wars begin!  I should have known when I wrote the post about being a stay at home mom I would open a Pandora's box.  I guess I need to emphasize the fact that I have nothing but respect for Mom's that can work outside the home and keep their families together at the same time.  It doesn't work for me, my husband or my girls at all.  I tried it for a while, and things never went very well.  I loved my job.  I adored my job.  I wanted to take my job in my arms and hug it and squeeze it.  It was a huge creative outlet for me, as well as a very fun work environment. 

As great as it was for me, as well as an additional source of income for our family, it wasn't working.  I'll note one example of how it really didn't work one night.

I was recovering from a major surgery and had taken a whole month off of work.  My first night back was a 5pm-12am shift.  Rob arrived home in a rush, with just enough time for me to squeak out the door and make it to work on time.  The gas gauge was close to E, but I had no time to fill it up. 

After work, driving home at 12am, the car started sputtering.  I held my breath, took my foot off the gas pedal and tried to glide as long as I could.  The car died.  No problem!  I had my cell phone.  I called Rob.  The phone rang and rang.  No one answered.  Furious, I slammed the door shut, and proceeded to walk the mile home dodging any headlights that might be coming my way.  At one point, I got tangled in a barbed wire fence.  I wasn't scared.  I was livid.

When I arrived home, I went in our bedroom to find Rob fast asleep.  Not a good situation.  I'll spare the details of the exchange that followed, but know that I had some serious repenting to do after that conversation.

Working outside the home didn't work for our family.  I earn more money babysitting our kids friends than I did at my part time job.  There is hardly any creativity involved, they eat all my food and suck the life out of me, but it is best for our family right now. 

I made my kids cookies after school today.  I got to watch Belle have a picnic in the melting snow with our dog.  I taught Belle what the number 3 looks like, and got to read Snow White to her, (again.)

I love my kids.  I love to be with them as much as I can.  For me, for now, this is what works.

Game Show Preschool

Being a parent makes you do all kinds of crazy things.  You watch things you'd never watch, read books you'd never read, play games you'd never play....For example, this morning I just realized I know every single word to "Part of your world" from The Little Mermaid.  I never meant to memorize it.  It got stuck in my head from 9 years of hearing it 2nd hand....(2nd hand singing?  Could be deadly, I guess.)

I coudn't sleep last night.  I kept thinking of the window between 8-10am to call in and reserve a spot for Belle at Salem Preschool next year.  I waited till exactly 8am.  I feverishly hit the redial over and over.  I was reminded of when I was in High School calling in for various radio show contests.  The joy and glory of winning was fantastic.  Everyone at school celebrated you that day becuase you won, and you got to talk on the radio....

I redialed and redialed for an entire....5 minutes.  But, I was prepared to go the whole 2 hours if I had to.  Salem Preschool is an amazing preschool.  Belle is IN next year!  WAHOO!  I won!

Open registrations to the public are February 19 at 9am.  Last year people were lined up at 6:45am OUTSIDE with their children in the middle of winter.  I showed up at 8:45am thinking I would "beat the crowd."  I was 157th in line. 

If you've got a kid preschool age, I would look into Salem Preschool for them.  It is truly an amazing place!

Dinner Conversation

Last night I had a headache and Rob was gone, so I made the easiest dinner possible.  One of those boxed casserole thingy's and corn.  This is how the dinner conversation went:

Belle: How come we only got two stuffs?

Maddie: Because we are poor.

Whitney:  We are poor?  Mom, are we really poor?

Mom:  Are you kidding me?

Maddie: We are poor from Disney World.  We can not even buy shirts for one whole month!

Whitney:shrieks in horror. A month? We really are poor, aren't we Mom?

Have I ever mentioned that Maddie and Whitney's favorite show is "What not to Wear?'  They are only 9 and 7.  I think we will be poor soon.  Very soon.

V.I.P. Seating

One of the exciting things about going to Disney World right now is that it is the "Year of a Million Dreams."  Anyone at any of the parks can be tapped by a cast member and be given amazing prizes.  Our girls were sure they were going to win a night's stay in the Cinderella castle.  Well, we did not win that, but, we did get picked for V.I.P. seating at the Nemo show in Animal Kingdom.  The girls jumped up and down and screamed and squealed for being "picked".  The man who gave us our V.I.P. seat tickets told us to just show up 30 minutes before the show.  We would be ushered to the front of the line and given the best seats in the house.  We did exactly as he said.  We got their 30 minutes early, thought it was strange that no one was in line, went right in, and found that the best seats were all TAKEN!  (the man was supposet to tell us to be there 40 minutes early).  The girls were outraged.  Rob asked a cast member where the V.I.P. seats were, and she said, "There aren't any."  He showed her the tickets.  She got mad and said "there aren't any."  Rob got mad and said, "Well, why do we have these tickets?"  Then her boss came over and seated us in what really did turn out to be great seats.  The girls were still outraged, even though they could reach out their hands and touch Nemo and Dorie, (except several cast members told them if they did that, they would be asked to leave).  No matter how many times we told ther girls these were great seats, they  did not believe us.  They have a huge sense of injustice about these issues.   They still secretly loved the show.

Fast foward to the next day when we are flying home.  The flight from Cincinati to South Bend was the 2nd worst flight I have ever been on in my life.  We flew through, and then above a terrible storm.  A lady on the plane was sobbing the whole time and saying to her husband, "I don't want to die."  That's how bad it was.  To us, it was just another great ride...an extention of our Disney trip.  When we flew above the clouds, everything got peaceful very fast.  We happened to be flying right at the time the sun was going down, and to put it mildly, the view was breathtaking.

The girls were amazed.  I was amazed.  Rob was taking his turn playing Ariel sticker book with Belle, so I'm not sure what he thought.  I leaned in to the girls and said, "See, God made sure we got our V.I.P. seating after all.  I think this is just for us.  They smiled and laughed and really got it,

(I hope)

Grumpy Me

This picture is hilarious.  Me and Belle are grumpy and tired.  I think we parents get it in our heads that vacation is all smiles, laughter, joy, and endless gratitude from our children.  Spend 5 minutes observing children at Disney World, and you will soon find that is not true.

One thing really stood out to me most from one of Mark Beeson's messages on parenting (forgive me, I can not remember which one it was...this thought just really stuck with me.)  Mark talked about how he and Sheila would take their kids on day trips.   He said that most of the day would be hard, or even terrible, but the few minutes that were great were eternal.  I can vouch for that wholeheartedly as a parent now for 10 years.  There are a lot of grumpy moments on vacation, but when you see the sparkle in your daughters eye when a real Princess says she's beautiful, it's all worth it.  Or, like one time Rob, me, and the girls were on a pier at Clearwater Beach in Florida.  The sun was setting, and there was a perfect rainbow over our heads.  A full moon was already out, and a dolphin was playing under the pier.  When we got to the end of the pier, the sun set, and people literally applauded.  I sang a praise song to Jesus in my heart. 

Those moments are eternal.  The girls will never forget that.  It's worth the grumpy tiredness that comes from a thrown off schedule.  Vacation time is together time.  Navigating through that grumpiness is part of being a family.  Can you tell I love vacation?  I'm ready for another one!

Duct Tape and Dry Heaves

A typical night at home while Rob is in India.

I sat down to write an email to my good friend Carla Bone tonight, and after I wrote it, realized it was definitely blog-worthy.

Ok,

Seriously

This is getting crazy!  Maddie has had the flu all day, throwing up, fever, etc., and now Whitney is throwing up.  On top of that, Isabelle is losing her mind.  She kept turning her light on over and over again when it was time to go to bed, so I decided not to spank her (spanking does not work for her, she only smiles at me when she gets a spank...or if I say, "do you want a spank?  She will SMILE and say "yes") so, I decided to unscrew her light bulbs so she couldn't turn her lights on.  I burned my fingers unscrewing the light bulbs.  That didn't work, so I decided to duct tape her light switch so she couldn't switch it on anymore.  I had this secret thought about duct taping her to her bed, but I let that thought go....

:0)

So, next thing I know she is peeling the tape off and throwing it out her door.  I brought in more duct tape; she grabbed it and threw it down the stairs.  I made her stand in the corner until I could set up her pack and play, since she wouldn't stay in her bed.  I felt like I was on Super Nanny since I had to put her back in the corner at least 10 times until she stood there.  Consistency paid off, since she eventually stood there,

Then...as I was laying her in her pack and play, she hit me and said some pretty mean words....

Then I calmly (evidence that the Holy Spirit works in us and through us even when we are at the end of our ropes) told her I know she doesn't want to hit her Mama, and I know she loves me.  She started to cry, and said, "I do love you Mommy!"

I reassured her of my love for her a thousand times, kissed her, and she fell asleep (with the lights off)

Then Maddie got up.  She was feverish, clammy, etc.  I gave her a Popsicle. 

Then Whitney got up.  Maddie went to bed.  Whitney dry-heaved into the toilet for 20 minutes and insisted that she was much worse off than Maddie.  She also insisted that this is absolutely the worst night of her entire life....

 

I sort of relate.

Love you,

Michelle Wegner

Better to laugh about it than cry! Other than these occasional moments of craziness we are doing ok, really.

 

Dance Class

It's hard to have two girls very close in age, but not quite twins.  They both love their dance class.  It's hard when the "season finale" of their dance class ends up like this:

Whitney in all her glory....

And Maddie watching Whitney in all her glory.

You Carry Her

My final installment in my  barrage of "Parenting" blogs is an unexpected one....which is interesting, because I have found that so much of parenting is living your life in this land of unexpected circumstances.

Yesterday we were having the most lovely day with our friends, Bruce and Jennifer Williams.  They've got an amazing log cabin that Bruce built by hand, and lots of property full of deer, foxes, and lots of interesting stuff.  One of the perks of having so much property is having dirt bikes and 4 wheelers and stuff like that.  You can check out a funny video of Bruce driving their baby Zoe on the dirt bike here.

The girls got to go 4 wheeling, I opted out due to some crazy MRI results I got this week on my back.  Jennifer and I went in like good wives to get the pies ready, and Maddie came in crying.  She said her foot got run over by the dirt bike.  It got bluer and bluer, and by the time we drove home, she was in a lot of pain, so I ended up at Med Point with her.  She couldn't walk (insert comment about crazy MRI results) so I had to carry her.  She's 9, about 65 pounds, but what other option was there?  She had some x-rays, and it looks like it's a bad sprain, and she'll be on crutches and in an air cast for 6-8 weeks.  Poor baby.

By the time we got home last night and got her into bed, my back was hurting so much I could have cried.  But then I was thinking about it, and realized that so much of parenting is exactly that...you carry your kids even when you hurt.  You don't get a break when you're tired.  You just keep going.  Hurting is irrelevant.  Sure, you have to take  care of yourself too, but it is no longer top priority.  You carry her.  It's your job. 

If I Didn't Know Jesus,

This Is the Kind of Mommy I Would Be:

Grumpy Selfish Puppy Killing

Wicked Witch. I'm so glad Jesus found me.

So are my girls!