Michelle Wegner

Not About Us

Just today Isabelle and I were driving down the road and the road workers were tearing up the road.  “What a mess!”  I said to her.  Without skipping a beat Belle said to me, “I think God told them to do that so they can make our world more beautiful.”

Dumbfounded by her wisdom, I replied, “You are right Belle.  We are so fortunate to live in a place that has clean streets.  Some of the streets in India weren’t so clean, were they?

B:  Nope.  But some were.  What if we had cows here like they do in India?

Me: That would sure be funny, wouldn’t it?  Remember how the cows walked around in the roads in India?

B: That was very funny.  Why did the people let the cows do that?

Me: Because they respect the cows very much, and some people even think they are God.

B: Does Prema think cows are God?

Me: Nope.  She and Raj tell all the people that Jesus is God, and the cows aren’t.  That’s why we went to India, because so many people don’t know about Jesus yet.

B: Yep.  When we went to India it wasn’t our vacation.  We were doing an important job.  It wasn’t a vacation, was it Mom?

Me:  Nope

B:  It wasn’t peace and quiet.  We go to Florida when our family needs peace and quiet.  We went to India to help the people.  It wasn’t for us.

Me:  Yep.

I love that Belle caught on to this perspective at age 5.  I hope she remembers that “It’s not about us” for a long time to come

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Fearless-Rob&Michelle’s Love Story

I wrote about my baby growing up yesterday. In some ways it makes me sad; But then, Maddie will do something so creative and funny, I realize there is no way I would want her to stay little forever. She has so much in that little brain of hers. This little video she put together for us tonight while we were tucking in the other two cherubs left me and Rob a blubbering mess. Enjoy.

 

1+1=22

Our baby turned 11 a few weeks ago.  11.  E-l-e-v-e-n.  Half way to 22.  11 years ago she was born.  11 years from now she will be t-w-e-n-t-y-t-w-0.  Rob and I have both had a few “oh my word” moments lately, one of them the other night while trick-or-treating.

How many more trick-or-treats do we have with Maddie?  It’s always been all of us.  All of our friends and their kids are like a little pack and we all go together.  But, it will not always be.  Someday she’ll want to get married or something and I doubt her husband will want to trick-or-treat with us. 

Tucking Whitney in bed tonight, snuggling her up under her covers, brushing her hair out of her face, it hit me again.  How many more tucks do I have?  How much longer will she long for me to talk and talk to her while she is laying there with her sleepy smile?

And then yesterday watching Isabelle brush her own hair,and then proceed to put her own barrette in.  Same thing.  I got all teary.  I asked her to promise me she would always stay 5.  She rolled her eyes at me and said, “But Mom, I am almost to 10!”  I think she thought I had officially lost it when I got all teared up watching her brush her hair.

How many moments do we have left? 

I’m counting mine more carefully lately.

Fun Friends

Will we remember 5 years from now that it was 45 degrees and very windy Halloween 09?  I doubt it.  But, we will remember our fun friends and these fabulous alien cupcakes, eating monster toes, and chili to warm us up.

Where The Wild Things Are: REVIEW

We went to see Where the Wild Things Are this morning as a family.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  All I can say is that our family awaited this movies’ release with baited breath.  From the first time we saw the first trailer, we were sold.  From the sound track, to the brilliance and creativity of the trailer alone, we could not wait to see this movie.

Max is a boy in his tween years, stuck somewhere between kid and teenager, confused about his emotions, and sad that no one in his world shares his fun sense of adventure.  He is crushed at the slightest disappointment, yet vividly aware of life and adventure.  I saw my Whitney in him over and over again.

Max is so angry with his Mom one night that he runs from her into the woods, finds a ship by a river and sails to another world.  In this new world he meets monsters who are selfish and angry just like him, but also loving and kind just like him.  He tries to create a world with them that is perfect and just how he wants it.  Max even convinces the Wild Things that he is a king with magic powers.  Things slowly started to crumble around him, and they figure out that he is not who he says he is.  Even though Max had lots of fun with the Wild Things, he decides it’s time to go home.

Whitney was sad because everyone didn’t have the chance to make up before the movie ended.  Carol and Max had a fight, and Max had to leave the Wild Things and go back home to his Mom.  There is a feeling of longing at the end, but I thought this was very healthy.  It was a very un-American movie, in that everyone wasn’t happy in the end.  I heard about a study once that said the #1 thing American parents wanted for their kids was to be happy.

I am under the belief and opinion that happiness is a wonderful by-product of right living, but happiness is not always a guarantee.  In real life there is suffering and sadness.  In real life, friends don’t always make up.  In real life, we don’t always get to do things the way we want them to, have the homes we want, the families we want, or the circumstances we want.

Real life is living through disappointment together.  Real life is navigating uncharted waters with your family, riding it out together, while sometimes it seems the whole world around you wants you to fail and fall apart.

Max goes home in the end to his Mom who truly loves him.  In my opinion, the movie is about finding happiness in your circumstances, not because of them.  I loved this movie. 

Rob had an interesting take on the movie.  Here’s his few words about it:

I thought it was brilliant. One of my all time favorite kid movies. I thought the screenwriters brought a depth to the characters that was surprising for a short children's story. The cinematography was breathtaking at points. The soundtrack was so fresh and carried the spirit of wildness that is the heart of the movie. The kid who played Max WAS ... Max. It never felt like he was acting...amazing. Each of the monsters represent a different part of Max’s personalities/emotions or his older sister. I think one was his missing Father. His interactions with them took me back to those years where childhood was ending and adult hood beginning. As a parent of Tweens, I could see my girls on screen too. I thought the movie was profound. We chatted with another family who saw it at the same time as us...they hated it. The movie is bittersweet because it's about the end of childhood and the challenge of losing your innocence through loss/pain. I think they were expecting a fun kids movie with goofy monsters. Our youngest Belle, who is five, got lost half way through, but there was enough happening visually to pull her back in. The older girls really enjoyed it. We had a great talk afterwards about what each monster represented. I could see Maddie, my 11yr old, wheels turning. She loves to write and dug the symbolism. I think she related to the emotional journey Max was on. Freud would have loved this movie. LOL

 

Maddie's Fabulous Fashionista Party

   

         

Can you tell Maddie had an amazing party?  Her friends are great.  They have lots of energy, but they really are great kids.  Maddie wanted a fashion party, so who else could we call to help other than Kathy Friend?  She is a fashion/wardrobe consultant, and my girls idolize her (in a good way) for her expertise in fashion, but most of all because of her kindness to them. 

Kathy talked to the girls about the importance of looking and smelling nice.  She talked about the fact that whether you like it or not, people will treat you differently based on the way you look or don't look.  She challenged them to think about fashion in a way that is modest, yet snappy.  She had the girls go through piles of fashion magazines and cut out pictures that captured true beauty.  They cut out pictures that showed friendship, happiness, work ethics, and lots of other good stuff. 

The party was a huge success.  I am not sure who will do Belle's parties for her when she is 11, because by the end of the party Rob and I were completely wiped out.

This was really one of the most fun parties we have ever done for the girls.  Everyone felt included, learned something, and had lots of fun. 

What's the best party you've ever had or given for someone?

Madeline Dawn

11 years ago today our Madeline Dawn was born.  I'll never forget when they handed her to me, all scrubbed up and polished, a head of dark hair with a pink ribbon in it.  She was all wrapped up like a present from God to me, bow and all.  From that second on, I was struck with her beauty, as were every person that laid eyes on her sweet little chubby face. Almost daily I would be taking Maddie for a walk, or in a grocery store when complete strangers would stop me just to get a look at her beautiful face. 

I love these photos our friend Brittani took of Maddie this spring.  She captured Maddie's spirit so well.  She is energetic and kind.  She's compassionate and dignified. I like to refer to Maddie as an "old soul". She is wise beyond her years, comprehending truth that most adults will never understand.  While being wise, she has a very silly sense of humor.  She keeps us on her toes with her funny insights and jokes.

Maddie has a beautiful spirit, and is such a joy to have around.  I thank God every day for letting me be her Mamma.  Happy Birthday Maddie. I am so proud of you, and I love you!

Whitney’s Big Day

 

 photo by elle white

Whitney has taken huge leaps of faith in her walk with Jesus this year.  Her decision to be baptized was just one of the many steps she has taken. We are seeing her passion for life focus on the poor, the needy, and the outcast.  Her heart breaks when she sees anyone abused, neglected, sick, or poor.  Our trip to India was almost too much for her, because she felt so passionately about those we were serving.  Whitney has loved Jesus as long as she has known Him.  She is funny, smart, kind, and full of passion and life.  I am so glad to be her Mom.  It’s one of the things on this Earth I am most grateful for.  It is so amazing to me to see the light of Jesus dawning in her heart and spread to her smile, and deeply affect those around her. 

Jesus has big plans for Whit, big plans.  I am just hoping and praying she always says “yes'” to Him, and always keeps on taking her next right step in her walk with Him.

Someone said to me yesterday, “I like your girls.  They are confident, but they are very kind”.  That was one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive as a parent, because that is what I always pray for them.  I pray for them to know that they are loved enough to walk confidently, but reach others with that same love.  I am proud to say I see my kids living that out to the best of their 10, 9, and 5yr. old abilities.

Even Today.

  

There are days that are filled with laughter, and wonder that captures each smile. 

There are days that are golden, laced with joy and squeals of delight.

There are days when we are all in syncopation, our hearts beating as one,

ready to take on anything together.

 And then there are days like today.

Where anger captures our thoughts.

Where our smiles are ground down

by teeth chomping away at each other with selfish arguments.

Where clouds hang low and lightning strikes with rage.

These are not my favorite days.

But, I still love you. 

You are still the golden sunshine that laces my day. 

You are always the happy thought that makes me fly. 

You are the seasoning in my life. 

You give me strength to do things I never thought I could or would.

I’m glad I’m your Mommy. 

 Even today.

Teaching My Kids NOT to Share

With the swine flu virus floating around, schools are being more cautious than ever in protecting kids from germs.  Whitney’s teacher faithfully scrubbed each table with Clorox wipes last year, especially during cold/flu season.  There was hand sanitizer available to the girls at all times, and the bathroom sinks are in the hallways to make sure kids wash their hands after they go potty.

But…my girls were more sick last year than they have ever been.  They each missed 14 days of school, which is really a crazy amount for them.  I think we took one or two family days, so the rest of those days, they were just too sick to send to school.

I remember the first week of school last year, Whitney came down with bronchitis  I got a call from the school nurse, and had to pick her up from school.  The school nurse said that it was the first week of school and already half the school was sick.  I told that to our family doctor later that day, and he asked me one question: Do they sit in their own desks, or are they at shared tables?  I told him they sat at shared tables, and shared all their supplies from a basket in the middle of the table.  His answer:  Germ Fest.

He went on to say that he was on the health advisory board way back when our school was being built, and he strongly advised that the school not purchase shared tables, but individual desks for children.  They ignored his advice, and went with the tables.

On top of taxes that we pay into our community, we pay between $100-$200 per child for supplies and textbooks.  Our teachers now do all the school supply shopping for our children.  At first I thought this was a wonderful idea.  It saved me a ton of time, and my kids would have the same stuff as all the other kids.  What I did not factor in, was that all those supplies would be placed in bins in the center of each table for all the kids to share.  I’m all about sharing, but quickly realized that they were sharing every sneeze, germ, and booger that went from their classmates little hand, to their marker, to my kids’ hand when they shared that same marker.

I’m opting out of sharing this year.  I still have to pay the supply fee, but I am purchasing all my kids’ supplies for them.  I am telling them for the first time in their lives NOT to share.  The true measure of this experiment will be in days of school they miss this year.  I’ll get back with you about that sometime next May.

A Letter To My Girl

 

The girls were slightly out of sorts today.  I blame it on long summer days, too many sleep-overs, and not enough sleep.  After a few rough exchanges, I decided to write this letter to one of my girls to reassure her of my love for her.  I encourage you to do the same for your kids…even if they are all grown up.

 

A Blueberry-ish Kind of Day

My girls are at such a fun age right now-They are old enough to take places and do fun things with, but not old enough to be jaded by their cool friends.  They still think I am pretty cool and fun to be around.  I’m not sure how much longer that sentiment will last, so I am doing all I can to enjoy it now. 

We went blueberry picking together yesterday on one of the most beautiful days of the summer.  Cousin Brooke was staying with us too, which made it extra special.    You may note the photo of Belle eating blueberries.  Yep, that’s pretty much what she did the whole time--that, and sit under the blueberry bushes and play with games I have loaded for her on my iPhone, and throw an occasional blueberry at her sisters while they fervently picked away.

I’m trying to take advantage of as many special moments as I can before this summer is over and we’re back to the grind of waking up early, quick breakfasts, homework, and generally losing our minds trying to keep up with it all.  For now we’re breathing deep, hanging out together, and eating lots of blueberries! 

What are you doing to make these last days of summer special?

Third World Take on American Girl

Our girls love American Girl dolls.  I am not one to spend tons of money on toys for my kids, but American Girl dolls are the one treasure I have allowed in their growing up years.  Why?  First of all, because they are little girls.  I want to encourage them to play with little girl stuff as long as possible.  Maddie, almost 11, still loves her girls.  She doesn’t so much play with them, but she loves to dress them up and put them on display.

I also love the books that go along with each of the American Girl dolls.  The stories teach about historical American life-what it was like for other girls their age to grow up at different times in America. 

I love to have something for the girls to earn money and save for.  They have each saved up significant amounts of money to purchase a special dress, horse, or accessory to go with their dolls.  It’s been a great teaching tool as far as helping them understand the value of saving.

So, since we happened to be right downtown this weekend with Raj and Prema, we decided to take them into the new store in Water Tower Place in Chicago.  The girls have not been to the new store yet, so to say the least, they about dropped dead when they walked in the front doors.  I seriously wish I had ran ahead so I could have filmed the looks on their faces when they first walked in.

I tried to prepare Prema for what she would see when we walked in, but I don’t think there are any words in any language in the world to explain to someone who grew up and lived her entire life in a third world culture what their eyes would behold in the American Girl store.  I could tell Prema was trying to take it all in.  She was talking to Raj in Tamil, and all of a sudden they both started laughing hysterically.  They wouldn’t tell us at first what they were laughing about.  But later, Raj told us that bad people in India sell REAL Indian girls for cheaper than the price of the American Girl Dolls.  That’s perspective!

 

 

Choked By Clutter

Growing up in Chicago, we had a neighbor from across the street that was a clutter-addict.  He had a 1960’s Ford pick-up/trailer full of junk, top to bottom.  His garage was one of the most fascinating places I remember seeing as a kid.  We would go in there, and be memorized by the piles and piles of junk.  Not junk to Ed.  His garage was full of treasure.  His Juke-Box, his record collections, newspapers from every decade he had been alive, dog cages, magazines, gumball machines, tools…you name it.  Literally top to bottom side to side, every square inch of the garage filled with trash accumulated over a lifetime.

About once a year, his wife got to the point where she reached her boiling point.  She’d say things like, “It’s me or your trash.  You pick.”  He’d sulk while she dragged item after item out to the curb.  As the day progressed, predictable as ever, we would watch from our window across the street as Ed would sneak around the house from the back yard, grab a few items and dash over to his truck and cram it into the back, only to be put back in the garage when everyone’s back was turned.  We would giggle every time this happened, but, truth be told, over the years, the trash took over the marriage.  Our neighbor said to her husband, “Ed, it’s me or the trash” for the final time.  He chose the trash.  She moved out.  He stayed and lived in a house full of his treasure until the day he died.

Our family has been closely watching the show Clean House on the Style Channel.  I don’t know why it fascinates all of us so much, I think each of us has a different reason for watching.  Belle can’t believe adults are messier than her, Whitney and Maddie love to see the designers do their work to a house utterly demolished by years of neglect.  Rob and I watch because the reasons people hold on to their trash like it’s life.  It’s fascinating.  People hold on to “stuff” tighter sometimes than to the people they love. 

Watching this show has brought up a lot of very interesting conversations in our household.  Why do we keep what gets in our way?  Why do we argue and fight about “stuff”?  Can we live with less?  These have been great conversations.  We even followed suit, just like the show and had a gigantic yard sale.  We made almost $500 by selling our junk.  We could not believe it.  It was an amazing and freeing feeling for all of us, and we are using all that money to do some fun things along the way as we make our way over to India.

Has your stuff ever gotten in your way of loving people?  I think it has been a fascinating question to ponder myself.  The older I get, the more I see the less I need. 

Watch the show sometime if you have an hour.  You’ll learn something…maybe even about yourself.

Ready For Anything

 

Time stretched out

Between here and there

The end of the school year

The beginning of our greatest adventure yet

Tucked in

Sweet dreams

Swallowed up by another morning of hope

Risen with the sun

Awakens the day

Brings joy of anticipation

Stretching our arms in praise

And our wings in faith

We fall asleep to dream again

Of what will be new with the summer

What we will see

Who we will change

How we will be changed

A free fall of hope

Waiting to be caught by the unexpected

Ready for anything.

India Worries

So here are some things I am worried about when it comes to our India trip in a few weeks.  I know I should not worry, and some of you very strong, wise, mature Christians will tell me NOT to worry, but you can tell me another time, probably like after you’ve taken your family of 5 or more on a trip to a 3rd world country for 3 and a half weeks.

The Sleep Issue

1. India beds are about as cozy as sleeping on the floor with a sheet under you
2. Most Indian’s sleep on the floor-hoping I don’t have to
3. Sharing a room with my entire family for 3 and a half weeks
4. My kids not sleeping
5. Me not sleeping (this will get ugly very fast)

The Food Issue

1. Just how much prepackaged food can I stash away in each suitcase?
2. Will my kids be expected to eat the spicy food?
3. Will there be anything BUT spicy food for us to eat?
4. Do they sell Oreos in India?
5. Just how much rice can a person eat before they explode?

The Potty Issue

1. Most places in the rural areas have no potty’s
2. Most places have no toilet paper
3. Just how much toilet paper can I stash into everyone’s suitcases?
4. Many women gather in villages every morning to go squat on bricks to…you get the idea.
5. Must remember not to pray for anyone with my left hand again…big mistake

That’s pretty much all I am worried about right now.  It really does feel less worrisome now that I have what’s been spinning around in my mind written out.  Thanks for the therapy session.  You can send me your bill later.

My Mom

 I realize I am breaking my vow of weekend silence, but hey, it's for my Mom!

Mom-

Thanks for sticking it out

with me

and

for me

when I was a 7 year old laying in the hospital for 10 days,

the events completely altering your lifestyle for years

you smiled

when I was a sassy 13 year old trying to go in the wrong direction

and finding my wings

you prayed.

prayed that I would not have fun in my wayward ways,

and I didn't

When I was 16 and in love, you approved.  I was happy.

Then at 18  you let me go to travel the world

giving me a vision and hope for my future,

Almost 20,  you stood by me at my wedding...

AND ever since, you have

rocked,

sang to,

scolded,

 laughed at,

prayed for,

hugged and kissed

11 1/2 Grandchildren.

You're a Great Mom, a wonderful Grandma, and I love you!

Why I Let My Kids Have a Cell Phone

My girls have a cell phone.  They are 10 and 9.  Are we crazy parents?  I’ll let you decide.

First of all, I shouldn’t say that THEY have a cell phone, it’s really OUR cell phone that we let them use.  The girls have been begging for one for months, and No, we didn’t give in to their begging, it was a family decision. 

Rob' got me an iPhone for Valentines Day when my old Blackjack died.  Fortunately for us, the Blackjack was within a few weeks of it’s warranty, so we were able to get a brand new one free.  It all worked out, so we decided to keep a third line for the girls.

Why?

Let me tell you:

Not because I don’t trust my kids, but because I don’t trust my kids’ friends’ parents.  Most of them are awesome, and I would trust them with anything.  BUT, there have been a few times when the girls have been with a friend, and then went off radar for 4 hours or more at a time.  When I was growing up, this was no big deal.  We would be gone from sun up to sun down, and as long as my parents had a general sense of where we were, it was all good. 

Last summer there were two incidents in particular that freaked me and Rob out.  I had no way of contacting my girls, and they had no way of contacting me.  I had no idea where they were.

That’s not going to happen again. 

In light of the horrific stories on the news of terrible and tragic things happening to little kids, my girls will never be off my radar again.  I don't’ care if other parents think my girls are snobby (I’ve gotten a phone call from an angry mom calling my girls snobby, really.)  They are going to carry a cell phone that has unlimited texting and calls.  Are they allowed to text their friends?  Only if I’m right there with them.  Can they talk to their friends on the cell phone?  Only if they ask, just like our regular phone.

Letting my kids take a cell phone on a bike ride gives me peace of mind. 

Am I crazy?  Over-protective?  Would you let your 9 year old have a cell phone?  Let me know what you think!

Why We Vacate.

 

By about 9 hours of  being glued to one another in the back seat of the car yesterday, the girls resistance toward one another had melted away.  They were all cuddly and mushy and taking care of each other nicely.  Whitney even said to me, “Mom, why is it that when we go away on vacation we always get along better?” 

Exactly my point.

Exactly why we choose to “vacate.”

We unplug, unwind, and enjoy each other.  Really!  It can happen, and it does.  Look at these beautiful faces.

 

 

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

Today was the first time we have hiked without a stroller or baby back pack in about 10 years.  Sure, we’ve taken little strolls around parks by our house, but this was the first “real” trail we’ve hit since we’re done with all the baby stuff.  When we were at breakfast this morning, a woman and Belle struck up a conversation.  Belle told her about her big sisters, and the lady said, “Well, are you the baby?”  She looked offended, and deeply insulted, and firmly stated that “No, I am not the baby!”

And she proved it today.

This little girl marched and marched up a hill, over rocks and roots, through streams getting her feet wet…all without a single complaint.  She was determined. 

For anyone who knows Belle’s story, you know that this is a huge accomplishment.  A few years ago her legs and muscles weren’t working so well.  It appears she is determined to overcome just about anything that gets in her way.

“I was very brave today Mom”  She said to me on the way down. 

Yep.  She sure was!