Michelle Wegner

Innovate '08

Are you coming to Innovate08?  I am!  If you are, I hope to meet you if we haven't met yet.  Sheila Beeson and I will be hosting one of the Casual Q&A sessions on Friday afternoon of the conference.  Here is a brief description of what that means:

Casual Q&A’s are very specific topics where attendees have the freedom to ask questions and dialogue with Granger staff. They are not as structured as teaching breakouts but designed to be informal Q&A sessions with the questions being determined by the attendees themselves. 

Got questions on: boundaries between your private life vs. the church life and how to support your spouse through the challenges of day-to-day ministry? Pastor's Wives: Sheila Beeson, wife of Granger’s Senior Pastor and Michelle Wegner, wife of Granger's Pastor of Life Mission will be hosting this Casual Q&A session.

With that said, if you are a Pastor's wife coming to Innovate, you need to come to this session and meet Sheila Beeson!  She's amazing!  I have known her and served beside her and Mark for 16 years.  I watched her be an amazing Mom to Amber, Aaron, and Angela.  I can credit my parents and the Beeson's for the way I parent my own kids today.  Not only that, Sheila has been an amazing role model to me as to how to be a "normal" person and a Pastor's wife.

I am thinking of doing some cross-stitching or needlework together while we chat.  Or, we can sing old hymns around a piano.  WAIT!  I AM KIDDING!

We won't be doing those things.  Really.  I was kidding.

If you are  a Pastor's wife (or even if you're not) what would you want to talk about during this Q&A?  What are some things you would NOT want to talk about?  I'm curious.  Let the research begin!

The Perks

So, I have been thinking again...I realize that a lot of what I write on my blog about being a Pastor's wife is sarcastic and funny.  Truthfully, a lot of what happens to me is just that, but more often than not, my life is awesome.  I need to be clear about that before more wonderful, well-meaning people try to guide and direct me in the paths of righteousness. 

Really, my life is awesome.  I wouldn't trade it in for anything.  (except maybe if that other life included household servants that waited on me hand and foot)...see, there's that sarcasm thing again.  I just can't seem to get away from it.  But really, I mean REALLY, I am so thankful for the life I have.  I get an insiders view into the everyday happening's at one of the most amazing churches on the planet.  I'd like to think I have some subliminal influence into what goes into Rob's sermons...I try at least. 

I get to see people's lives transformed  before my eyes.  The benefit of staying at one place for 16 years is that you get to see long-term change in people's lives.  Take Angie for example.  I met her when she was 12.  She gave her life to Jesus, decided she wanted to become a medical missionary, focused like a laser for the next years of her life.  She's a real doctor now.  People kept calling her when we were walking around the zoo the other day,  asking her all kinds of questions like how to save this person and that person. Angie calmly explained to them what to do and how to do it.  She's on her way to fulfilling the part of the Great Commission God has called her to.  I am so proud of her I can't stand it.

I get to be around greatness all the time.  The people and staff of GCC amaze me daily.  They are fully devoted followers of Christ.  They are living every day to know Jesus and make him known. 

My life is awesome.

No sarcasm....it wasn't that hard. 

Between the Skunk and the Opossum

My mind has been mulling something over for a few days now.   I've felt bad about it, mulled it over some more, talked with Rob about it, then finally prayed about it on my walk this morning.  Somewhere between the dead skunk and dead opossum that have been laying on Adams rd. for about 3 months, it hit me.

I seem to have this ability to not fit anywhere.  In the Pastor's Wife world, in the Blog world, the Twitter world, the Park Mom world, the Room Mom world...the McDonalds Mom world, none of these groups seem to fit me.

But, where I do fit is this:  I fit with those who have their gaze fixed on Jesus.  Those who have seen His face and won't turn back.  Those who are determined to see God's Kingdom established on Earth as it is in Heaven.  I am perfectly at home with the friends who look least like me.  These are the ones who share my heart.      

That doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't love Jesus...quite the opposite.  I think I love those the most.  The ones that are hard for me to get are those who blog for themselves, Twitter for themselves, Have self-absorbed lives and self-absorbed children.  I still love them, but I probably won't be hangin with them.

Guess that's the inspiration you'll get from a dead skunk and opossum.

 

 

 

Why It's Hard To Be My Friend

Being married to a Pastor and balancing my friendships is a tricky thing.  One thing I have been thinking about a lot lately is my friendships with other women.  I love my friends.  I adore them.  I wish I could spend hour after hour with them just hanging out.  If you are my friend, or if you are close to someone whose spouse is in full-time ministry, you'll sorta see what I'm trying to say. 

There has to be a lot of grace given and taken in these relationships.  My life is never the same day to day or week to week.  The times Rob is home with me and the girls is "retreat" time.  It's time to back away from people, regroup, reorganize, and rethink.  Before all that happens, we just need quiet.  At the end of most days, Rob and I are just quiet.  We're tired.  People can be draining.  Trying to save the world is hard!

I can't tell you how many appointments I have had to cancel or reschedule because of Rob's schedule.  I've had to reschedule breakfast with the same friend 10 times or more.  Does she get mad? Nope.  Grace has grown in our friendship over time.

Have I lost friends because of this?  Yep, more than have stayed around.  They did not like it very much that family, marriage, and ministry were so time consuming.  Not only time-consuming, but energy consuming.  When I looked at them and said, "I am so sorry, we just can not put our kids with another babysitter tonight., " they packed up, left, and never came back. Ouch.

But, the friendships that have lasted these 16 years of ministry are the strongest and best I could ever ask for.

If you know a family like ours who is in full-time ministry, extend them extra grace.  They really do like you.  As a matter of fact, they probably love you more than you could know.  That's why they do what they do.

Camp Adventure (from an old person's perspective)

Rob and I have been to Camp Adventure every summer since 1992.  That would make this our  16th summer of camp.  My role has changed over those 16 years, and so has my perspective.  I will never forget the first few years of camp.  I remember kids like J Aquilla,  Amber Cox  (Beeson) , John Keim,and so many other now men and women who were then just kids.  I was only 19 myself, so I was a kid too. 

Those first years of camp were special, because of the environment I saw Mark and Sheila Beeson had created there over the past few decades.  I had never been to a place that was so close to "Heaven on Earth."  Before we coined the phrase "Bringing Up there Down Here," that's what Camp Adventure was.  And yes, I am talking about a camp for 6th-8th graders!  I had never been to a place where there were no practical jokes, no cut-downs, no negativity, only love, encouragement, and building one another up. 

Being the 35 year old, one of the "elderly" at Camp Adventure now, I walk around the whole week and just watch, wonder, and pray.  I don't have a group of middle-schoolers to counsel, but I have my own small group of 3 girls.  It is one of the only places on Earth I can take them and just say, "Watch"  "Watch J Aquilla.  He's married to Angie now.  They love Jesus.  Just watch them."

"There's Brooke and DC.  They love Jesus.  Watch what they do."  Watch Pastor Dan lead worship.  Watch the kids raise their hands to Jesus.

My kids do watch.  They are transformed every year by living in a place that is "Brining up There Down Here." 

If you are sending your kid to camp next week, or in July, you are doing the right thing.  They will be in an environment of love and acceptance like they have never known. 

I can't wait!

Last One Picked For Dodgeball

This is pretty funny.  Rob is a pastor, I am his wife.  I have looked around on line for Pastor's wifey kind of stuff.  Just curious.  Just looking.  Wondering if anyone else out there has a life as bizare as mine, (as in people coming to your garage sale, demanding to know "why we don't do weddings here..")  huh?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about WEIRD stuff happens when you are a pastor's wife.  Apparently, I am not fitting the mold of what it is to be a pastor's wife, because in all my attempts to make online friends with some of these women,or connect with some of these web sites,  they have completely DISSED me!  What does this mean?  What do I have to do to make it into the club?  I don't mean to be cruel, but do I need to learn to play the piano, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School, and then have several church members over for dinner after all that on a Sunday afternoon?  Would I be a cool pastor's wife then?

I am not looking for sympathy.  I have never felt more loved and accepted by anyone then the staff and members of GCC.  They are not my problem.  It's these other women.  Is there a card somewhere that I don't have?  Do I need a membership into a secret society?  Are they watching me to see if I continue to make blunders?  Are they checking to see if I am smart enough, funny enough, wise enough, or rich enough?  I just don't get it.  I just thought they might like me.  I feel like I am in Jr. High all over again.  I'm the last one to get picked for dodgeball...rats.

Epiphany

I had an epiphany this morning.  It struck me as I was heading down the stairs and I could tell Rob was talking to Rajendran , GCC's Staff member in India, on the phone.  I could tell because he was talking very LOUDLY into the phone.  Plus, after 15 years of marriage, I can pretty much tell who Rob is talking to on the phone by the tone of his voice...weird, huh?

My epiphany happened when I heard him say, "so, what are we doing for the temple prostitutes?  How are we helping them?"

Seriously, how many wives walked down the stairs this morning and heard their husbands say that?

I am so proud of Rob.  He is changing the world.  He has put into action what has burned on his heart for years.  He's a man of his word.  My heart couldn't be more "there" with him.  This really is a team deal, and for now, my job is to hold down the home-front while he's off saving the world.

For today, we're off to the zoo with 100 2nd graders.  I don't know what is more intimidating.  Rescuing temple prostitutes, or funneling the energy of 100 2nd graders?

We'll have to see.

To All the Mean People

Here are 10 things you can do so you won't be so mean anymore:

1. Go for a walk in the park
2. Take some deep breaths
3. Draw on your driveway in sidewalk chalk
4. Watch an episode of the Brady Bunch
5. Go to Dairy Queen and eat a giant hot fudge sundae
6. Jump up and down 10 times
7. Let your dog lick your face
8. Make up 10 words that rhyme with your first name
9. Hug your kids
10. Pray to Jesus

Don't Waste Your Pain pt. 2

Ok, so now that I'm over the "Jesus bandaids," here are my thoughts about last weekend's message. 

It's a funny thing being married to a Pastor.  People get all kinds of funny ideas in their heads about what he is like at home or what in the world it is that he does in between times that he is teaching.  Our neighbor boy is so perplexed about this.  I just let the question linger for fun.  "Where is your Dad?" He is always asking me.  I say he's at work, and he just gives me this puzzled look.  It's pretty hilarious.

Anyway, no, Rob doesn't preach to me or the family very often.  He doesn't stand up and sermonize before each meal or before bed.  Usually we just talk or hang out.  He is insanely normal, and that's why I love him.  When Rob is on for the weekend or on a Thursday night, we get to talk about whatever it is that he will be discussing quite a bit.  I am always coming up with the best ideas, but he usually just looks at me funny.  However, whatever it is that he is talking about usually gets in my head and won't go away.  When he is preaching it is almost like I am right there with him going "yeah, yeah, and..."  It's kind of strange and hard to explain.

All that to say this past weekend's message was great for me to hear.  What will I do with the pain in my life?  Will I turn into a hermit, close my windows and doors and not let anyone in?  That's my temptation. 

I feel like sharing this stuff kinda diffuses the pain a bit.  Not that I want to spill my guts to every person I see, or become a leech, sucking the life out of people, but sharing my experience with a few close, personal friends seems to shine the light on these issues and call them out for what they are:  issues of humanity.  We all have them. 

GCC SECRET REVEALED HERE

Ha-ha.  You honestly think I would reveal the "buzz" on my blog?   I would get in so much trouble!   I would be banned from blogging until the end of time.  But, you only have to wait  a few more hours to find out what in the world Granger Community Church is up to!

Have you been downstairs in the kids area?  Have you forgotten everything you just heard in the message because you are frantically trying to get one of your kids from their classroom while the other is being trampled underfoot and dragged away by a total stranger?

Do you feel like you have to wait and wait and wait every time you have to use the restroom in between services?

Have you ever gotten the privilege of sitting on the floor in the back of the auditorium because there are no seats left?

Here are my ideas for the solution:

• Tell people they can only bring one child per family.  They eat too many snacks anyway.
• Tell Core Class 101 members they can no longer bring guests.  We need the room for real members.
• Put a note in the bulletin that tells people to go potty before coming to church.
• Put a warning note on the coffee urns about the effects of caffeine on the bladder.

There is a reason why I am not on the SMT.  I'm just married to one of them.  Funny how when I give him my ideas, he just rolls his eyes.

Only a few more hours....

What Happens on a Typical Date with Rob

I think the most odd things happen to us when we are out on dates.  We both have a very good sense of humor.  I think God made us that way for a reason.  We ate at Papa Vino's. Saw no one we knew.  Phew.  Drove around a while.  Saw no one we knew.  Went to Barnes and Noble.  Saw 2 little girls who recognized Rob and said, "Hi Pastor Rob"  They were cute.   No problems yet.  A guy and his girlfriend walked by.  The guy did the double take and saw Rob, recognized him...didn't say anything.  No problem.

We drive some more, feel the need for desert.  Go to the South Bend Chocolate Company.  I sit down on the cozy couch by the fireplace with my ice cream, and low and behold, I am a fly on the wall.  The conversation at the table next to me was loud and venom-filled.  I couldn't help but hear, "YEAH, WELL, THAT GCC PLACE, YOU KNOW THEM....THE CROSS ISN'T ENOUGH FOR THEM...THEY HAVE TO HAVE ALL KINDS OF MUSIC AND STUFF.  LIKE THAT WILL HELP...BLAH, BLAH BLAH. "  I know these lovely Christian people didn't recognize me or Rob because of the ferocity at which they kept up the negative conversation about our church.  The evil side of me wanted vindication.  I REALLY wanted to turn and mention "that my husband is on the staff of the wonderful church you are so colorfully describing."  Not for any reason at all, except to embarrass them and make them feel bad for ruining my ice cream experience by the fire and my really fun date. 

When Rob sat down, I whispered these details to him, and he smiled.  He handles these things much better than me.  Perhaps that is why he is the pastor and I am not.  And now I get to the part of the story when you will see that God is indeed on my side. (I'm kidding, I hope you know).  A man and his wife walked in the room, and LOUDLY said, "Hey!  It's Rob Wegner from Granger Community Church!"  I had to repress a giggle inside.  You've got to love vindication.

We left the restaurant, went for a drive on a country road.  Rob turned the lights on the car off while driving down the road to see what would happen.  A typical date.  I love my husband.  I'm so glad we share this journey together.  And, I'm really glad we both have a good sense of humor.

People are Strange, When you're a Stranger

We took Maddie to the mall last night for a Mall Extravaganza Birthday Party.  Rob and I do not know where Maddie got her love for the mall, since we both detest shopping there, but that is what she really wanted to do for her birthday, so that's what we did.

We had 5 excited little girls with us.  At one point we were crammed with 35 other customers into a store the size of my walk in closet, trying to keep track of all 5.  Isabelle, our 3 year old was with us, so every other sentence out of my mouth was, "Where's Belle?...Anyone seen Isabelle?"  I had to follow a trail of things she had knocked off the shelves, then I found her.

Then it happened.  There was Rob locked in a conversation with an emotional woman.   I wasn't surprised.  It happens all the time.  Someone sees their pastor, then feels the need to tell him the 100 things she/he has always wanted to say to him but never had the chance.   I was angered by the inappropriateness of the situation.  It's our daughter's 9th birthday party....Get a clue!  I thought to myself.

What even made me more mad was that when Rob introduced me to her, she simply said, "Oh." and looked away and stopped talking.

I was thinking about this last night as I was going to bed, and the song, People are Strange  by the Doors kept going through my head.  I got a good laugh, and went to bed.

But then this morning when I was thinking about it, I felt sorry for that woman.  I felt bad for her that her emotions were so close to the surface, that the first available "compassionate" person in her eyes bore the brunt of her emotions and problems. 

I'm learning to deal with people like this.  I just worry about my kids.  They think it's normal for grown women to display this kind of emotion when they see their dad.  Is this going to be ok for them?  I hope they will learn compassion early , as I am learning it late!

Top Ten Funniest Moments as a Pastor's Wife

My life can sway from absolutely serious to absolutely hilarious in a matter of seconds. I guess that's what you get when you work with PEOPLE. People are wonderful. God made people. Rob and I are committed to investing the rest of our lives into building up people so they will become fully devoted followers of Christ. So, to say the least, we really like people. But, the flip side of that is the mess people bring with them. I thought I'd share a few funnies.

So here are the top 10 funniest moments I remember from the past 15 years of ministry at Granger Community Church:

10. At our garage sale this summer, a frantic woman jumped out of her car and stalked right up to Rob, who was sitting in our garage, and said angrily, "Do you do weddings here or what?"

9. While working at the register at Pages in Time, I overheard a woman and her friend talking about what a terrible place GCC was, and how they would never, ever send their children there because GCC does not sing hymns. When she stepped up to my register, I introduced myself as a pastor's wife from GCC. I was glad to meet her and happy to answer any questions she had about our church. I seriously wish I had a camera to record the look of horror on her face.

8. A few years back when someone was looking for that youth guy , "Robin Michelle".

7. When a church member saw me through my bedroom window sitting on my bed at my house yelled through my window, "I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

6. When the girls' friend came to church with us for the first time and said , "My Mom said it was ok to come to church with you becase it's not real church anyway."

5. When a woman insisted that she needed weekly one on one time with Rob for prayer and counseling (alone). Rob didn't go for it of course! :)

4. Several times over the years I have had well meaning adults ask me what Rob does with the rest of his time since he only preaches like once a week.

3. When people ask me if Rob is like "that" at home.

2. On Easter Sunday one year I answered the phone and a lady kept yelling, "Tell Rob to meet me at 7-11. My life is falling apart! I just need to touch a Pastor. I just need to touch a Pastor!"

1. Before Rob and I even had kids, a lady asked me how my baby was. "I don't have a baby." I said. "Yes you do." "No...I don't." "Yes! You do!" she yelled, and walked away.

While I'm Home

You know, I've been thinking about this "staying at home" thing a lot lately. Times like the Innovative Church Conference, or The Leadership Summit, or even times when there is anything a bit out of the ordinary or exciting going on at church, of course I want to be there. People who have only gotten to know me in the past few years might get the wrong impression that since I'm not there, I must not want to be. I want to go on every single trip to India. I want to go with Corey and Debbie Mann to Back2Back Ministries in Mexico every summer. I want to be at every New Community, and every Second Saturday. My heart is in all of that more than anyone could imagine. My heart starts beating very fast when I think of going....

but then I look around me, and realize there are 3 little girls that need me here right now. For the next couple years, I'm locked in with my main ministry. Of course there are times when we can all do these things together, those are wonderful times. Maddie got to go with Rob and I to India this past winter. That was amazing. But, more often than that, I'm at home being the supporter and encourager, the nurse, the teacher, the maid. I love being Rob's main source of encouragement. I'm glad we clean the house so when he gets home, he feels like it's a peaceful place to be. (clean I can do...I can't always guarantee there will be peace.)

So I was thinking about all my friends who are at home right now, or are in "support roles" in their families. Some for the firs time ever (shout out to Miss 7) and some have grown to love and thrive in those roles, like Faith Stevens for example. Can I please be more like her?

Anyway, know that what you are doing is SO IMPORTANT! Learn, grow, thrive where you are. Be all of who God made you to be right where you are. The fullness of you is not in some far off distant place, it's right where you are. It's something I'm learning, and trying to get my mind around anyway.