Michelle Wegner

Not About Us

Just today Isabelle and I were driving down the road and the road workers were tearing up the road.  “What a mess!”  I said to her.  Without skipping a beat Belle said to me, “I think God told them to do that so they can make our world more beautiful.”

Dumbfounded by her wisdom, I replied, “You are right Belle.  We are so fortunate to live in a place that has clean streets.  Some of the streets in India weren’t so clean, were they?

B:  Nope.  But some were.  What if we had cows here like they do in India?

Me: That would sure be funny, wouldn’t it?  Remember how the cows walked around in the roads in India?

B: That was very funny.  Why did the people let the cows do that?

Me: Because they respect the cows very much, and some people even think they are God.

B: Does Prema think cows are God?

Me: Nope.  She and Raj tell all the people that Jesus is God, and the cows aren’t.  That’s why we went to India, because so many people don’t know about Jesus yet.

B: Yep.  When we went to India it wasn’t our vacation.  We were doing an important job.  It wasn’t a vacation, was it Mom?

Me:  Nope

B:  It wasn’t peace and quiet.  We go to Florida when our family needs peace and quiet.  We went to India to help the people.  It wasn’t for us.

Me:  Yep.

I love that Belle caught on to this perspective at age 5.  I hope she remembers that “It’s not about us” for a long time to come

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Fearless-Rob&Michelle’s Love Story

I wrote about my baby growing up yesterday. In some ways it makes me sad; But then, Maddie will do something so creative and funny, I realize there is no way I would want her to stay little forever. She has so much in that little brain of hers. This little video she put together for us tonight while we were tucking in the other two cherubs left me and Rob a blubbering mess. Enjoy.

 

1+1=22

Our baby turned 11 a few weeks ago.  11.  E-l-e-v-e-n.  Half way to 22.  11 years ago she was born.  11 years from now she will be t-w-e-n-t-y-t-w-0.  Rob and I have both had a few “oh my word” moments lately, one of them the other night while trick-or-treating.

How many more trick-or-treats do we have with Maddie?  It’s always been all of us.  All of our friends and their kids are like a little pack and we all go together.  But, it will not always be.  Someday she’ll want to get married or something and I doubt her husband will want to trick-or-treat with us. 

Tucking Whitney in bed tonight, snuggling her up under her covers, brushing her hair out of her face, it hit me again.  How many more tucks do I have?  How much longer will she long for me to talk and talk to her while she is laying there with her sleepy smile?

And then yesterday watching Isabelle brush her own hair,and then proceed to put her own barrette in.  Same thing.  I got all teary.  I asked her to promise me she would always stay 5.  She rolled her eyes at me and said, “But Mom, I am almost to 10!”  I think she thought I had officially lost it when I got all teared up watching her brush her hair.

How many moments do we have left? 

I’m counting mine more carefully lately.

Fun Friends

Will we remember 5 years from now that it was 45 degrees and very windy Halloween 09?  I doubt it.  But, we will remember our fun friends and these fabulous alien cupcakes, eating monster toes, and chili to warm us up.

Halloween's Past

   

             

Our Graduate

 

 

Where The Wild Things Are: REVIEW

We went to see Where the Wild Things Are this morning as a family.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  All I can say is that our family awaited this movies’ release with baited breath.  From the first time we saw the first trailer, we were sold.  From the sound track, to the brilliance and creativity of the trailer alone, we could not wait to see this movie.

Max is a boy in his tween years, stuck somewhere between kid and teenager, confused about his emotions, and sad that no one in his world shares his fun sense of adventure.  He is crushed at the slightest disappointment, yet vividly aware of life and adventure.  I saw my Whitney in him over and over again.

Max is so angry with his Mom one night that he runs from her into the woods, finds a ship by a river and sails to another world.  In this new world he meets monsters who are selfish and angry just like him, but also loving and kind just like him.  He tries to create a world with them that is perfect and just how he wants it.  Max even convinces the Wild Things that he is a king with magic powers.  Things slowly started to crumble around him, and they figure out that he is not who he says he is.  Even though Max had lots of fun with the Wild Things, he decides it’s time to go home.

Whitney was sad because everyone didn’t have the chance to make up before the movie ended.  Carol and Max had a fight, and Max had to leave the Wild Things and go back home to his Mom.  There is a feeling of longing at the end, but I thought this was very healthy.  It was a very un-American movie, in that everyone wasn’t happy in the end.  I heard about a study once that said the #1 thing American parents wanted for their kids was to be happy.

I am under the belief and opinion that happiness is a wonderful by-product of right living, but happiness is not always a guarantee.  In real life there is suffering and sadness.  In real life, friends don’t always make up.  In real life, we don’t always get to do things the way we want them to, have the homes we want, the families we want, or the circumstances we want.

Real life is living through disappointment together.  Real life is navigating uncharted waters with your family, riding it out together, while sometimes it seems the whole world around you wants you to fail and fall apart.

Max goes home in the end to his Mom who truly loves him.  In my opinion, the movie is about finding happiness in your circumstances, not because of them.  I loved this movie. 

Rob had an interesting take on the movie.  Here’s his few words about it:

I thought it was brilliant. One of my all time favorite kid movies. I thought the screenwriters brought a depth to the characters that was surprising for a short children's story. The cinematography was breathtaking at points. The soundtrack was so fresh and carried the spirit of wildness that is the heart of the movie. The kid who played Max WAS ... Max. It never felt like he was acting...amazing. Each of the monsters represent a different part of Max’s personalities/emotions or his older sister. I think one was his missing Father. His interactions with them took me back to those years where childhood was ending and adult hood beginning. As a parent of Tweens, I could see my girls on screen too. I thought the movie was profound. We chatted with another family who saw it at the same time as us...they hated it. The movie is bittersweet because it's about the end of childhood and the challenge of losing your innocence through loss/pain. I think they were expecting a fun kids movie with goofy monsters. Our youngest Belle, who is five, got lost half way through, but there was enough happening visually to pull her back in. The older girls really enjoyed it. We had a great talk afterwards about what each monster represented. I could see Maddie, my 11yr old, wheels turning. She loves to write and dug the symbolism. I think she related to the emotional journey Max was on. Freud would have loved this movie. LOL

 

Maddie's Fabulous Fashionista Party

   

         

Can you tell Maddie had an amazing party?  Her friends are great.  They have lots of energy, but they really are great kids.  Maddie wanted a fashion party, so who else could we call to help other than Kathy Friend?  She is a fashion/wardrobe consultant, and my girls idolize her (in a good way) for her expertise in fashion, but most of all because of her kindness to them. 

Kathy talked to the girls about the importance of looking and smelling nice.  She talked about the fact that whether you like it or not, people will treat you differently based on the way you look or don't look.  She challenged them to think about fashion in a way that is modest, yet snappy.  She had the girls go through piles of fashion magazines and cut out pictures that captured true beauty.  They cut out pictures that showed friendship, happiness, work ethics, and lots of other good stuff. 

The party was a huge success.  I am not sure who will do Belle's parties for her when she is 11, because by the end of the party Rob and I were completely wiped out.

This was really one of the most fun parties we have ever done for the girls.  Everyone felt included, learned something, and had lots of fun. 

What's the best party you've ever had or given for someone?

Whitney’s Big Day

 

 photo by elle white

Whitney has taken huge leaps of faith in her walk with Jesus this year.  Her decision to be baptized was just one of the many steps she has taken. We are seeing her passion for life focus on the poor, the needy, and the outcast.  Her heart breaks when she sees anyone abused, neglected, sick, or poor.  Our trip to India was almost too much for her, because she felt so passionately about those we were serving.  Whitney has loved Jesus as long as she has known Him.  She is funny, smart, kind, and full of passion and life.  I am so glad to be her Mom.  It’s one of the things on this Earth I am most grateful for.  It is so amazing to me to see the light of Jesus dawning in her heart and spread to her smile, and deeply affect those around her. 

Jesus has big plans for Whit, big plans.  I am just hoping and praying she always says “yes'” to Him, and always keeps on taking her next right step in her walk with Him.

Someone said to me yesterday, “I like your girls.  They are confident, but they are very kind”.  That was one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive as a parent, because that is what I always pray for them.  I pray for them to know that they are loved enough to walk confidently, but reach others with that same love.  I am proud to say I see my kids living that out to the best of their 10, 9, and 5yr. old abilities.

Let The Photos Tell The Story

   

Story later.  Thanks to Kristin Baker, Maddie Wegner, and Dale Shafer for the amazing photos!

The Joy With The Trouble, The Trouble With The Joy

When we were in India this summer, I had no time for emotion.  It is truly one of the times in my life when I knew I had to shove my emotions aside in order to get myself and the girls through another day.  We faced more challenges as a family in India than we collectively ever have.  There wasn’t a lot of food, the girls got sick, we were far, far from home, everything and everyone was strange and unfamiliar.  I went in to “Mom mode”, trying to mother my girls through their days, helping them cope, giving them strength to be sustained for another day.   They did better than I could have imagined they would, but it was hard.

But now, as i reflect back at our time there, watch videos and see photos, I weep.  I see joy on my girls’ faces that I missed because I was taking care of some need.  I see the smiles in the faces’ of the children we visited, smiles of abundant, eternal joy that made our scarifies seem small in light of the eternal impact of the work God is doing in Tamil Nadu.  Did we come with some great, wonderful message?  No.  We came with our family and we brought our smiles.  Watching my girls on video dance and sing with children from southern India fills me with a measure of joy I never knew imaginable. 

When we give, God gives so much back.  The joy we know as a family from having served this summer in India together is something we will treasure forever…and then some.

Although great trouble accompanied the Word, you were able to take great joy from the Holy Spirit!—taking the trouble with the joy, the joy with the trouble. 1 Thessalonians 1:6

Tell Your Story

My Mom made the most amazing discovery the other day it is about 30 seconds long, but brought us unthinkable joy.  My Grandma was a regular on radio programs broadcasted from Moody Radio in Chicago similar to Aunt Theresa’s KYB Club.  My Mom said my Grandma’s radio name was, “Little Dottie Sunshine”.  Is that sweet or what?  You can hear the song, “I’m So Happy” by clicking this link:  I’m So Happy 

These little snippets from my Grandma’s life are a precious treasure to our family.  We have some photos, patched together memories, and little odds and ends like this that make up a part of who my Grandma was.  Grandma Blom is still with us, but her mind left us a few years ago, way too soon for someone her age.  We’ve got stories to remember her by, and we are thankful for that.

This is a new age in Grand parenting.  I am not sure how many Grandparents read my blog, but if you are one, you need to start a blog, or make videos of yourself telling the wonderful and terrible stories from your childhood.  We want to hear the whole thing.  We want to hear why you are so strong.  What made you resilient.  What made you stubborn.  We want to know these things so we can learn from your greatest victories, and yes, even your greatest failures. 

We learn how to live well from those who have gone before us.  It’s not too late.  Tell your story, no matter how old or young you are.  We all have something to learn.

Monjue

We visited Kalavai while we were in India this June.  Kalavai is a small village of the Untouchable caste in India.  This visit marked us as a family in ways we will never  forget.  Playing with the kids in this village was a highlight for our girls.  I have treasured this photo of Maddie with girls from Kalavai.  It has been my screen saver for several weeks. 

We had a GCC team go back to Kalavai a few weeks ago, and they brought back very sad news about Monjue, the stunningly beautiful girl in the green and pink sari.  Dan Blacketor wrote a note about her on his Facebook page:

Monjue is a young bright 15-year old girl who lost hope for a better future.

Monjue lives in the small Irala colony located just outside of Kalavai, India. I'm beginning to better understand that my agenda is many times not God's primary purpose. You see, I had the chance to lead a team from Granger Community Church to help build a community center, hold conversational English classes and start a micro business in this village. To ensure everything was in place for the team I arrived a few days early to meet with our Indian ground team on Thursday, July 30th. Our plan was to organize the job site so the team would have a great experience. Because Raj (our Indian director) was having neck problems he decided to go directly to Kalavai instead of making the 6 hour trip to meet me at Bangalore airport.

If Monjue was born in the United States she would probably be strongly considering submitting college applications to places like Notre Dame, Stanford or Columbia University. But on this Thursday morning, Monjue picked some poisonous berries and went back to her family's hut and ate them and waited to die. Her best friend found Monjue and ran to the construction site to see if anyone could help save Monjue's life. Raj was there because he had a stiff neck, was preparing for my early arrival and because of these series of events helped save Monjue's life.

You see, Monjue had given up at the age of 15. Her father had left the family six months prior. Her mother had to sell their family's small goat herd to buy food. Her mom was then "contracted" to watch someone else's herd with compensation coming in the form of a baby goat - but only when it was a twin birth. Monjue left school to watch the goats so her mother could look for day labor (and at best earns 80 cents per day if hired) to buy enough food to feed the family. Goat only gives a single birth, Monjue's mom is frustrated, believes Monjue should have taken the goats to "greener pastures" and takes it out on Monjue by beating her. Monjue gives up and tries to kill herself.

A week to the day that Monjue tried to end her life we were visiting her as she watched over the herd. It was over 100 degrees and only 10:30 in the morning. No shade anywhere and because of the lack of rain it was very dry and not a lot of grass to be found. We ask Monjue what she thinks about on these long hot days while watching over someone else's herd. Monjue sits down and begins to quietly cry. She shares that she thinks about going to school and learning so that she might have a better life but realizes this is not a reality in her world. She must watch the goats so her mom can go to town each day in the hope of making less than a dollar for a day's work.

I’m not sure how to help Monjue from here.  Part of me was so sad to tell this news to Maddie and Whitney, but I am glad I did.  It brought reality back home to all of us again.  We will pray for Monjue, and are so thankful that GCC has chosen Kalavai as a laser target to bring God’s hope and light.  

And They're Off!

It's the first day of school for my two big girls.  This is the first year that they have had their back to school outfits planned for over a week, including hairstyle, matching shoes and nail polish.

With the new focus on fashion, I have a whole new set of things to worry about.  Shopping with the girls used to be me picking out matching Granimals sweatshirts and stretcy pants with giraffe prints.  Those days are long gone.  No more Granimals at my house.

I admit that it is sort of fun to see the girls develop their own sense of fashion, it's a good thing, because I pretty much have none.

Both of my big girls are exactly the same height and weight and in the same grade.  Are they twins?  Nope.  They are 18 months apart.  Maddie is in high ability 5th grade, and Whitney is in high ability 4th grade.  Their school only goes up to 5th grade, so they lump the high ability 4th grade kids w/the 5th.  Thankfully, Maddie and Whit won't be in any classes together, but I am so worried about Whitney being with Maddie's friends who think she's pesty.  I will be biting my nails all day long waiting to see if it's a happy or sad face that comes off the bus today.

Maddie is glowing, floating actually, because she got her favorite teacher from last year as her main teacher this year.  I am thanking God about that about every other minute.

I'm worried about my kids getting older.  With each year they begin school, I lose a little more control of them.  I know it's for their best, and I know I'm not supposed to worry, because God has them in the palm of His hand, but I still sit here biting my nails and pining away the hours until they get home.

Say a prayer for me and my girls if you think about it today!

Even Today.

  

There are days that are filled with laughter, and wonder that captures each smile. 

There are days that are golden, laced with joy and squeals of delight.

There are days when we are all in syncopation, our hearts beating as one,

ready to take on anything together.

 And then there are days like today.

Where anger captures our thoughts.

Where our smiles are ground down

by teeth chomping away at each other with selfish arguments.

Where clouds hang low and lightning strikes with rage.

These are not my favorite days.

But, I still love you. 

You are still the golden sunshine that laces my day. 

You are always the happy thought that makes me fly. 

You are the seasoning in my life. 

You give me strength to do things I never thought I could or would.

I’m glad I’m your Mommy. 

 Even today.

Guess What I Got Today?

A new nephew! Jared Graham Lanting was born at 12:30pm today.  He’s 8.8 pounds and cute as anything.  I love him already, and we haven’t even met!

 

My brother Mark and sister-in-law Abbey are amazing parents.  Alistair is going to be a fantastic big brother.  Once again I am amazed at the miracle of life.  This is the 12th grandchild for my parents, and there is even another one on the way!  (Not us, don’t worry).  I’m so very thankful for my family and the blessing of each of my brothers, their wives, and kids.  They all love each other, love Jesus, and are just great people.  I’m feeling overwhelmingly blessed today.

Spunk

Whitney has always been full of passion and spunk. I thank God every day for the way God made her. Although she may not always carry a water gun, wear one flipper with her blue goggles on, this picture captures her spirit in a very fun way.

A Letter To My Girl

 

The girls were slightly out of sorts today.  I blame it on long summer days, too many sleep-overs, and not enough sleep.  After a few rough exchanges, I decided to write this letter to one of my girls to reassure her of my love for her.  I encourage you to do the same for your kids…even if they are all grown up.

 

Sea Treasures

 

  

The way I see it, there are only a few summers left that the girls dig in the sand and let their hair hang in their eyes covered in salt and sea weed.  I am savoring every minute of our time here with them.  We’re digging for clams and shark teeth, body boarding, and laying in the sun as much as our Indiana white skin can handle it.  We’ve found many treasures in the sea, but the biggest treasures of all are the smiles you see on the girls’ faces…priceless!

The Untouchable

We didn’t do anything bold or miraculous in India.  I spent way more time in motels with sick/weary kids than I thought I would have.  Rob did a lot of teaching that was fabulous, but he isn’t Jesus.  He’s not a rock star.  But somehow, lives were changed.  We didn’t do much.  We gave up some, gave Jesus what we had, and He did so much more than we could have ever imagined.  We loved them and hugged them and let them know they mattered to God.  Our visit like a whirlwind in their mundane and ordinary lives.  A visit of peace and surrender and joy that could only come from knowing the creator and the lover and toucher of all the untouchable. 

I gave up coffee

I gave up sleep

I gave up clean potties

We brought our smiles

We sang their songs

We touched the untouchable

He did the miracles.  I am so, so grateful.