Michelle Wegner

Son City Morning

     

 

As a part  of our Advent preparation as a family, we spent the day Saturday serving the kids in Monroe Circle in downtown South Bend.  Our church runs a program called Son City Kids that meets at the community center we built called MC3. 

Isabelle spent the week beforehand collecting books from her book shelf to donate to the kids library used for after school tutoring.  This was completely her idea.  She said she wanted to pick books about God and Jesus and angels so the kids at MC3 would learn about God.    She was so excited to put the books on the shelf all by herself.

Whitney teamed up with a 5 year old boy named Randall for the morning.   She helped him get his snack, wash his face after his messy cupcake, play games with him, then helped him make a very cool Christmas craft to take home.

Maddie helped me pass out cupcakes, pretzels, and yogurt.  She did a great job of keeping the snack table fully stocked and saying nice things to the kids who picked up their snacks.

Rob played a few Connect 4 tournaments with kids, got beat a few times, then had to clean up vomit from a kid that ate one too many cupcakes.  I think a few other volunteers were surprised to see their pastor cleaning up vomit.  I was proud of him, and glad I didn’t have to do it, since I had that privilege several times last week at our own house.

We went home, took a rest, then got the girls ready for the GCC kids Christmas program.  It was a long day, but felt great to give back a little bit as a family.

Ellie The Dog Is Freaky Smart

Ellie the dog is freaky smart. 

• She sometimes puts the blankets in her mouth and pulls them up over the girls when we are tucking them in.
• She watched Rob and Belle play Candy Land the other night, and when I was playing with Belle the next day, she put her nose to the yellow piece like she knew exactly what to do and how to play the game.
• Every morning when Isabelle and I watch Martha Speaks (a PBS show about a talking dog), she looks at the TV screen and focuses on it for 5 minutes at a time, her ears perking up at noises and barking sounds.
• Every night when Rob and I are going to bed, she refuses to walk to her room (the laundry room) and go to sleep.  She makes us either drag her across the wood floor, or Rob has to literally pick up all 100 pounds of her potato sack body and carry her to her mat.

She’s a great dog.  She is also the worst dog in the world, because I have to chase her and grab something out of her mouth about 4 times an hour, and she has a birth defect that makes her sputter and spew food and water all over the house.  Rob and I watched Marley and Me the other night, and I laughed and laughed because they refer to Marley affectionately as “The Worst Dog In The World”….and then Marley DIES in the end.  I knew I shouldn’t have watched that movie.  It made me cry like a baby and made me appreciate my little birth defected, scary smart dog Ellie.

Are you a dog person?  A cat person?  If you’re a cat person, I am sorry. Someday you will learn the error of your ways.  :) What’s the best pet you ever had?

The Feed

Every weekend at GCC, we have the announcements pre-recorded for a short little “news-ish” segment.  We always try to make it interesting, mix it up, keep peoples attention.  For the “Go Fish” series, we used talking fish.  For the Christmas Carol series, we are using different kids each weekend.(slightly cuter than talking fish)

  My girls  had the honor of being asked to do the video shoot for this coming weekend, and since it is the weekend all the kids will be singing, they got to wear their Christmas dresses.  Here’s a sneak preview:

 

We had lots of fun, and I’d hold the mic for Elle any day.  She’s amazing with kids and got them to say and do all the right things.  Believe it or not, my girls can be slightly silly at times.

 

Spend Less, Give More

With all my talk lately about consumerism and spending, you need to know that I am not a Christmas Scrooge, or the Grinch, or a present hater.  I am actually completely the opposite.  Nothing makes me happier than secretly picking out gifts for the girls, keeping them hidden and giving them the surprise of their lives on Christmas morning.  I am a believer in the magic of the season, and in building memories the girls will share with their kids for years to come.

What we are trying more than anything to do at the same time is teach our girls that it’s not all about them.  How to do that and get them the most awesome presents ever is a very tricky thing indeed.

This past weekend in our Family Time about Advent, we talked about how to Spend Less, and Give More.  We got a list of needy families in our community from the girls’ school, and went on a shopping trip.  The girls were very excited to pick out an outfit for a girl their own age.  We also picked out a few outfits and  video games for boys.  Rob was excited about that because he never gets to buy cool games for boys.

  We told the girls that we were spending money on these gifts because these families would not have much to offer their kids on Christmas morning.   The girls were totally and completely in to the project, which made it really fun.  On the way out the door, Whitney dug through her own purse and dumped her change in the Salvation Army Bucket without us saying anything to her.  She gets it.  Moments like that make all our efforts to teach them “it’s not all about us” worth it.

We live in an amazing community with people that love to give of their time and serve others.  I know that’s not normal.  I am so thankful for this.  What is your family or community doing this season to give back?

Memory

                                                                                                                                                        

I I was just  having a talk with someone who is pregnant yesterday about my memory lapses.  With each of my pregnancies, I think I lost about 10% of my memory. Those darn hormones!  I don’t think it’s gone forever, my brain is just tired.  My 5 year old, Isabelle, beats me at the Memory game every time. 

Pastor Mark challenged our entire church to have 1 Peter 2:1-12 memorized by Easter.  I think it will be amazing to see what God does in our  hearts and minds once we get this passage down as a church.

I’m going to be exercising my brain muscles in the next few weeks to get this passage down.  Who’s in?

 

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self‑control; and to self‑control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall,

and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.

All I Want For Christmas is Nailed to My Wall

In light of my last sorta serious post about Advent, I thought I would lighten things up a bit.  Just so you know, our kids are normal kids.  We spent Sunday afternoon working on our thoughts and ideas for Advent this year, and 1/2 the time was spent breaking up fights about who gets to be Mary, the baby Jesus, the angel, the reader, etc.  1/4 of the time I spent chasing Ellie (our dog) out of the room, grabbing ribbons and the baby Jesus out of her mouth.  1/8 of the time I unsuccessfully tried to snap photos of an occasional smile on the Angel’s face (Belle settled for Angel/Joseph).  The Narrator did not want photos taken, so she covered up her head and read from under a blanket.  The final 1/8 of our time was spent in laughter and learning.

Did anything stick?  I’m pretty sure some of it did.

I went to tuck Whitney in bed last night and found her Christmas list NAILED to her wall.  It is 3 pages long.  Here’s what she wants.  I copied it down word for word:

 

Money

Books (Not just picture books)

Pixie Hallow membership card (might be at Walmart)

DSI

Aeropostle Clothes

Bracelets, necklaces, make up, etc.,

Taylor Swift CD’s (favorite song of her's is “Invisible”)

CD Player (those two gifts go together)

Uggs, emos, high heels

Candy

Computer/laptop

Motor Scooter

Mini Microwave

Girl Gourmet refill

Zune

Wig (I don’t know why)

Camera

Webkinz

Nerf gun (to shoot my sisters)

New bike

Cotton Candy machine

Popcorn machine

Fashion magazines

Fuzzy socks

markers, crayons, colorful paper, paint (the liquid type), the stained glass thing you paint, glitter, glue, glitter glue

Pretty hats

A tree house

A club house

TV in my room

Vacation to Florida

Vacation to Tennessee

Does this long list bother me?  Nah.  Whitney just has big dreams.  I love that about her.  Like most parents, I wish I could give her every single thing on her list, but know that wouldn’t help her out too much.

We’ll work on the next part of our Advent focus next weekend.  It is worth the effort and hard work for the 1/8 retention rate.  We’ll let you know how it goes!

Peace. Jingle Bells and Santa Style.

What Christmas song gets you every time?  The one that stops you in your tracks, makes you bend your head for a second, and stills your soul?  For me, it’s O Holy Night.  Yours might be Jingle Bells for all I know.  What I do know is that Christmastime is a time for suckers like me to get sucked into sloppy sentimentality.  It’s kind of funny  if you think about it.  We have seen the same movies, put up the same decorations, sang the same songs for generations, but it gets us every time.  Maybe the regular-ness of it is what gets me.  Seeing the Santa sleigh that my Grandma had on her record player every Christmas as long as I can remember, now on the shelf above my computer, missing 6 out of 8 reindeer, dented and scratched from years of kids and grandkids playing with it, brings me back to every Christmas I have ever known.  It’s strangely comforting.

The stress my kids feel at 11, 9, and 5 is more than I felt in my entire childhood combined.  Their school is an amazing school, yet highly competitive.  They aren't allowed to laugh loudly at lunch, throw snowballs at recess, have Christmas parties with cake and punch, pass out birthday invitations…they are expected to do hours of homework a week, and be at the top of their game every day.  Do I blame their teachers?  Nope.  They are amazing and fantastic.  Do I blame the administration?  Nope, except a 10am start time to their day would be nice!   I get why things are so hard.  Much of the rest of the world’s 4th and 5th graders are light years ahead of our children academically.  We, as a nation need to make education a priority more than ever if we want to keep up with the rest of the world.

I had a long talk with Maddie about this last night.  I told her, “Maddie, your Daddy and I don’t want to make your life “easier”, we want your life to be filled with peace.”  How do we do that?  I don’t know fully yet, but we are trying some things to bring peace to our own home.

What I do know this season is that more than ever we need to draw our family back to the truth of Christmas.  We need to immerse ourselves of the blessing of God come to Earth.  We need to create opportunities for us and the girls to look into the eyes of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.  We need to hear the angels sing again, and listen as the shepherds did to the truth of God come to Earth to save us all. 

We are using an amazing tool called the Advent Conspiracy to guide us through this season.  If you don’t know about it, go check out their site.  Rob and I will be posting on our progress through the Advent season with the girls periodically between now and Christmas. 

Peace to you and your family this season.

Seeing Red

Note a trend in our family? 

Happy Thanksgiving

 

Belle said to me this week, “Mom, I am just like a pilgrim, I eat a lot and I like pie.”  Ellie the Pilgrim Dog likes pie too.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Amazing Love

I received updates on these beautiful babies we visited in June.  I think the moment above holding baby Rhema changed me forever.  Here’s the post from that day, The photo updates Prema posted today follow mine.

We made a visit to a girls orphanage yesterday.  There are only 5 girls living there to assure the best care for them possible.  The baby you see Maddie holding on your left is named Rachel after Gene’s daughter Rachel that died on Christmas Eve.  When Gene picked her up, she looked right into his eyes and smiled the biggest smile at him.  She talked to him like they were old friends, and she’s only two months old.

The baby you see Whitney holding on your right is named Rhema.  She was born 20 days before this photo drastically underweight and with a cleft palette.  Her parents took one look at her and said “No way.”  A common practice in the villages for such a baby is to just let it die. Thank God for his divine intervention in Rhema’s life. Rhema snuggled right up to Whitney.  She was scared to hold such a teeny-fragile baby, and so was I! 

Visiting these children was my favorite part of my day yesterday.   It amazed me to see what the light and love of Jesus has done for these children.  Love has brought them life.  Amazing.

                                             

Amy is from the Dharmapuri district. We received this baby through a Methodist church. Soon after this baby was born, she was thrown in a bush as she was a female child around 9.00 P.M. When a lady passed by heard the baby cry, she took the baby and bought it to the close by Methodist church. The Pastor immediately called us and informed us. Thus we received the baby same day. We do not know her parents.

Rachel is from Vellore district. We came to know about her through Pastor. Sam. Rhema’s mother is a widow. She had 2 children through her husband. She was cheated by a man after her husband death and she became pregnant. Not knowing what to do, she was confused. She was hiding herself, until she delivers the baby and wanted to kill the baby as soon as born. When Sam came to know about her, he shared the gospel and told her not to kill the baby. He said, he will find someone to take care of the baby

Rhema is from Dharmapuri district. We came to know about her through one of our trainer Jebaraj. This girl is from a Hindu family; she was a second female child and has split lips. Thus the family decided to kill the baby. When Jebaraj came to know about this, he rang up. We said we will adopt the baby. Thus on the very first day we saved her. That time her weight would be around 1 k.g

The updates on these beautiful babies came only a day after I posted about GCC helping older children in Kalavai, from the same areas as these.  I see amazing love in the eyes of these girls.  Love and a purpose.

So, So Thankful

I literally gasped as I walked past the photo of Priya last week in the GCC children's hallway.  This beautiful baby girl has been floating around in the corners of my mind since we visited Kalavai in June.  Maddie got to play with her, I tried to make her smile.

She is who goes round and round in my mind when I am all alone and the quiet leads me back.  Priya and a half a billion baby girls in India like her.

I sucked air because in a split second I realized that my church is sharing the burden of caring for this beautiful girl, and many children like her in the tiny village of the Untouchable caste who catch rats and snakes as a job.

It made me realize there is hope for Priya.  Hope and a future.  For this, I am so, so thankful.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11

I Answered

You asked some questions last week, I did my best to answer.  Here goes:

With two very busy lives/schedules, how do you and Rob keep the communication lines open, make time for deep conversation and avoid miscommunication slips? ok. that was three. :)

Posted by: Chelle

I would have to say that our # 1 strategy for keeping communication lines open has been early bed times for the girls.  Maddie and Whitney think they are living on the wild side if we let them stay up past 8:15 or 8:30pm, Isabelle is in bed by 7:30.  We let our brains turn to mush in front of the t.v., then hopefully get a chance to process out loud all of what happened through the day.

Another thing we have always held as a high value has been making sure we are on the same page when it comes to learning and reading.  I try to attend as many conferences as I can with Rob, so I understand his thinking and what is going on in his world.  We may not always read the exact same books, but we make sure we discuss at length the things we are learning from the books we are reading.  This has been really helpful since we both have different interests in reading.  I feel like we keep each other on our toes in these discussions. 

Conversations about deep learning can’t really happen over tacos, spilled drinks and loud chatter at the dinner table, so we try to go out alone once every few weeks to look eye to eye and chat about what we’re learning and how we’re growing.

My question is--how do you do it all?

Posted by: betsey

I think Rob and I make a very good team.  He is very helpful with the girls and with the regular day to day cleaning up, driving to dance class, school events, etc.  This helps me tremendously.

I also work very hard on keeping my soul re-fueled by spending time in God’s word, listening to sermon podcasts from LifeChurchTV, John Ortberg, Andy Stanley and a couple of others.  I have my Zune programmed with worship music I listen to while I vacuum.  I have YouVersion on my Iphone so I can pull up the Bible wherever I am, even in the carpool line waiting to pick up Belle.

Keeping it all together was much easier before we had kids, but I am learning I can do the same things I used to do to keep my soul in tact, I just have to do it differently.  If I feel like my soul is in good shape, I can handle just about anything.

I don't know how to ask this to get a meaningful answer. How many friends do you have? How many does Rob have? Maybe a good measure is how many people you trust leaving your kids with. As you answer think a little about how I might apply your answer to my own life

Posted by: Ryan

Ryan, this is such a great question, and difficult to answer.  I have about 700 Twitter & Facebook “friends”.  Rob’s got about 1000.  How many would we trust our kids with?  About 5, Maybe 10.  I have a small group of 8 women I meet with weekly.  I trust them, (0ne of them I even trust with our dog Ellie, she has her over for play dates all the time). 

Trust is such a difficult issue for me being in the position I am in(pastor’s wife).  I try to not become too jaded, but the truth of the matter is that I have been hurt by those who have been my close friends as opposed to the ones outside of my inner circle more times than I can count.  When something goes on at GCC that they don’t agree with, people sometimes make it personal between me and Rob and them.  I hate that more than anything.  This makes it very difficult for me to implicitly trust people, although I love them deeply, more than they know.  It’s a very strange position to be in, and I am learning and growing more every day in these areas.

As far as how it would apply to your life, I say don’t trust your daughter with anyone you don’t know inside and out.  Rob and I have made the mistake of trusting our daughter with someone we sort of knew, and it ended up being extremely traumatic to her and our entire family.  She wasn’t harmed physically or sexually in any way, but sometimes the emotional damage of being with a less than “normal” person can do just as much damage.  We learned a hard lesson, and we are never going back.  Any child is allowed in our home.  We only let our girls over to someone else’s home when we know the family inside and out.

So, there you have it.  Thanks so much for your great questions!

Watching

The late autumn leaves are still covering the ground in my back yard.  Some still linger around in the trees, hoping winter is not really true. I used to be like those leaves.  I used to hang on to golden, sunny afternoons of autumn, pretending not to notice the dread of winter in the air.

But I’ve changed.  Autumn leaves that give up their will easily will understand.  I think they hold the secret to a winter of happiness.  They just let it be.  They let winter come, cover them up, as they wait and hope for spring.

Some time this fall, that change happened in me.  Some time today winter’s chill crept up on me, and I let it come.  I lit a candle, put on Christmas music, and sat down to watch the last of the leaves give up their fight.

Thanksgiving hasn’t happened yet, and yet I sit her reflecting on the birth of our Lord, and am so deeply thankful for all He is in every season of our lives.

Favor

This might sound totally cheesy, so if I offend you, I apologize.  I am starting another blog, made up of the best things I have written.  I write a lot of useless drivel, I know, so I sort of want to separate the useless funny day to day stuff from stuff that might actually be helpful to you or someone else some day.  I’m not even sure if I’m going to make the site public for awhile, just gathering ideas for now.

Here’s what I’m asking:  I’d love it if you could let me know what posts have been most helpful to you.  I’ve been blogging for almost 3 years now, so its hard for me to sort through it all in my head.

  If there is something that stood out to you, you can leave me a comment about it, or just email me at michelledwegner (@) att (dot) net.  No parenthesis or spaces, of course.  Those meanie spammers are onto me.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the favor.  Thanks!

Spiritually Speaking…

How are you different today from 5 years ago?  How about since last November?  Have you changed some since then?  In the past 6 months would your spouse, close friends or family say you are treating them more lovingly?  What about this month…How are you different?  Have you made up your mind to make some changes this past week?

These are all questions a group of friends and I have been discussing the past few weeks.  It has been great discussion that has caused us to stop and reflect on not what we are DOING, but how we are CHANGING.

Am I more loving?

Do I give more of my money and time to others than I used to?

Do I easily get upset when things don’t go my way?

How do I handle disappointment?

How am I handling criticism compared to a year ago?

I am learning that these gauges as opposed to how many minutes of Bible reading and journaling I have done in a week are a better tool to judge the state of my heart than any other.

I challenge you to make up a graph similar to the one I made  for our group.  I challenge you to fill out the changes you have seen in yourself, then ask a spouse, family member, or close friend to note changes they have seen in you.  Let me know how it goes!  It was an awesome exercise to go through with a group of close friends.

Memorabilia Monday

 

Here we are, Michelle and Michelle on the first day of Kindergarten.  I am the one on the right, and I believe those are my little brother Joel’s feet above my head on the steps.

Michelle was a head taller than me, but we were the same age.  I have this vivid memory of her flying over the handlebars of her banana seat bike the day before this photo, thus the scrape on her chin.

Michelle and I lived 4 houses apart from each other from the time I was 4 until her family moved out when I was in college.  She was my best friend, worst enemy, strongest advocate, biggest encouragement, all of that wrapped up into one person.  We played Barbie's endlessly (at her house mostly, because she had the highly coveted Barbie Town House).  We swam away every minute of our summers between her pool and mine.  She was a great friend.  I am so glad I have connected with her again on Facebook. 

Do you have friends like this?  Who have you re-connected with?  Isn’t the power of social media amazing?  I am a huge fan.

You Asked?

It’s been awhile since I have opened up this site for questions.  I thought it would be appropriate since at GCC we are working through the RelationSlips series,and Rob is teaching this weekend,  I would open up for any and all questions you have about Relationships.  Mine and Robs, Ours w/the kids, the kids w/eachother, ours w/our dogs, the dogs w/eachother…you get the idea.

Ask away, I’m ready and waiting!

Bringing Up Girls

 

I’ve been anxiously anticipating James Dobson’s book about Bringing Up Girls that is coming out this spring.  Between now and then I’ll be doing some thinking and sharing every now and then what it’s like to bring up girls “these days.”  My blogging buddy Shelly Wildman is a brilliant writer who has girls a few steps ahead of mine wrote an article about this the other day.  Go read her post,  then come back and check out the 5 best and the 5 hardest things about bringing up girls I have found to be true so far.

The Hard Stuff:

1. The drama.  Oh, the drama.  Every day, every where I look, some dramatic event is playing out before my eyes.
2. The competition. Looks, skills, personality, it is in every area of their little lives.
3. Books.  Books are awesome.  So many good ones, way too many bad ones.  It gets so hard to sort through them all and decide which is which.
4. TV commercials.  We guard our girls from watching smutty TV shows that degrade women.  Commercials do that in between shows we let them watch.
5. Clothes, and the money they would LIKE to spend on them. 

The Great Stuff:

1. Clothes.  I love seeing them develop their own fashion sense.
2. Their feelings and emotions.  Good and bad, their emotions on their sleeve or hidden, I love the processes of their emotions.
3. Creativity.  I love to watch them interact with one another and come up with creative dances, plays, and stories.
4. Chatter.  Their chitty-chatty-ness is always going on somewhere in our house. 
5. Friendships.  With their sisters or their friends, their friendships are deep and full of life and love.

Those are my observations for now.  How about you?  If you have girls (or know one)  what is the hardest part of raising them?  What’s the best?

Memorabilia Monday

 

How would we ever have guessed that all but one of the people in this photo would end up in the same town after college?  I am so very grateful for these friends and many years of ever changing hair.

Not About Us

Just today Isabelle and I were driving down the road and the road workers were tearing up the road.  “What a mess!”  I said to her.  Without skipping a beat Belle said to me, “I think God told them to do that so they can make our world more beautiful.”

Dumbfounded by her wisdom, I replied, “You are right Belle.  We are so fortunate to live in a place that has clean streets.  Some of the streets in India weren’t so clean, were they?

B:  Nope.  But some were.  What if we had cows here like they do in India?

Me: That would sure be funny, wouldn’t it?  Remember how the cows walked around in the roads in India?

B: That was very funny.  Why did the people let the cows do that?

Me: Because they respect the cows very much, and some people even think they are God.

B: Does Prema think cows are God?

Me: Nope.  She and Raj tell all the people that Jesus is God, and the cows aren’t.  That’s why we went to India, because so many people don’t know about Jesus yet.

B: Yep.  When we went to India it wasn’t our vacation.  We were doing an important job.  It wasn’t a vacation, was it Mom?

Me:  Nope

B:  It wasn’t peace and quiet.  We go to Florida when our family needs peace and quiet.  We went to India to help the people.  It wasn’t for us.

Me:  Yep.

I love that Belle caught on to this perspective at age 5.  I hope she remembers that “It’s not about us” for a long time to come

.